Super Frat

Welcome Bros, to another episode of Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant I found from Apathyangel‘s list of followed, lexilapetina.  Lexi describes herself as a Pin-Up model and the owner of an adult entertainment site containing her homemade porn.  Yes, everything is better homemade Lexi.  Let’s see how you twitter.

January 8th, 8:41pm:  “I got a nasty black, blue and green bruise on my leg….due to sex :(“

Good start, but it’s nothing less than I’d expect from a pornstar.  Well, actually, I’d expect a pornstar to be good enough at sex NOT to hurt herself, but maybe she’s banging fans like so many of them do.  Let’s hope so, bros.

January 9th, 10:02PM:  “Tooooo much running a biking….my legs hurt so bad, I can hardly walk.”

I sure hope “running” means “fucking” and “biking” means “banging” and “a” means “and”.

January 10th, 1:56PM:  “At a hockey game….drinking beer n hangin with friends :)”

Pornstar + beer fan + hockey fan.  I think we like where this is going bros.

January 12th, 10:24PM:  “Worked my ass off today….relaxin…thinkin and drinkin wine ;)”

Please, not that beautiful ass.  Go back and reaffix it please.

January 13th, 9:32AM:  “Toss’d n turned all nite due 2 a buncha thoughts on my mind. Never know how 2 put my brain 2 rest. Mayb start knockin it out w/ tylenol pm?”

Not a good idea, Lexi.  I know a guy that may have died from drinking and taking a Benadryl.  What are you thinking about Lexi?  The economy?  Gitmo?  Fixing Healthcare?  Don’t worry, Lexi.  The porn bailout was a joke.  Next to soup lines, standing in porn lines will be all the rage in a few months.

January 14th, 1:48AM:  “Watching Eyes Wide Shut for the first time…thought it was all about hot sex. Instead I am spooked, its kinda scary.”

Yeah, kinda scary they finished that movie.  What kind of monster can turn an orgy scene into something boring?  Tom Cruise was more convincing in Valkyrie.

January 14th, 3:12PM:  “4 my fab pervy members – I am workin out in a thong right now, ck my spycams. 4 all else ovr 18 – join eroticneighbor.com to see ;)”

Well, twitter has a new function!  It can tell you when the webcam girls are on.  “Tom, I’m going to have to take a rain check on that meeting.  I have to…uh, file something.”

January 14th, 6:57PM:  “Gas stations now have TV’s at each pump?! Well…if they can’t hv -full service- in FL then @ least now I can watch tv as I pump my own gas.”

What an age we live in, Lexi.  Are these the thoughts that keep you up at night?

January 15th, 11:48PM:  “Totally roasted my body in the tanning bed….n it didn’t help that I rubbed lotion on completely uneven….I now look like a candy cane :-0″

Insert your own perverted thought here.

January 18th, 4:32PM:  “watching 9 1/2 weeks…..one of the sexiest movies eva made!”

Well, it’s better than Eyes Wide Shut.  What, no Last Tango in Paris?

January 19th, 10:12PM:  “Just download the Ms. Packman app to my crackberry…sawweeeet ;)”

pornstar + beer fan + hockey fan + video game fan + decent taste in movies = We love you Lexi!

January 21st, 8:12AM:  “Omg its 39 degrees in Florida right now…..I couldn’t be happier!!!”

Big fan of cold.  Yeah, well, the snow is always fluffier, Lexi.  Besides, we all prefer warm so you can be more naked.

January 23rd, 9:45AM:  “Wondering if my members have thought-up some naughty punishments for me…for last nights failed cam show??!”

“Yes, Tom, I realized I missed the previous meeting, but I still didn’t…uh, file that thing.”

January 23rd, 5:36PM:  “Al and I wanna throw a sex party just like the one in the movie – Eyes wide Shut – love the mask idea…cept w/o all the creepy voodoo shit.”

Al?!  Who is this, Al?!  Aw, Lexi.  We thought we were the only one for you.

January 25th, 10:52AM:  “Got a much needed sports massage yesterday….my back’s been riddled with knots. Today, I am in so much pain from it :(“

Sports massage?  No, Lexi, that football player wasn’t massaging your boobs for you.

Well, Lexi seems pretty nice.  Obviously, she’s using her twitter to pimp her many sites.   She’s got a pin up site, a porn site, facebook, myspace, a forum—  No wonder she only twitters about once a day.  Where do you find the time to get naked, have sex and photograph it, Lexi?  She must have an army of nerds to run all these sites.

Now it’s time to rate Lexi’s twit.  I give her a 5 for Style (she’s pimping her sites about 25% of the time, kind of spammy), 8 for Mustness (she is incredibly hot, naked and porny on her sites) and finally a 5 for Insanity (although she keeps hurting herself, she sounds relatively stable) .  Plus a bonus of 3 for having a porn site.  This gives lexilapetina an overall score of 7.