Super Frat

Hey Bros:

Welcome to another edition of Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Last week, I was out with an injury.  (Plus, who could follow the amazing tweets of Courtney Love two weeks ago?  Who should really be in some sort of Twitter in Focus Hall of Fame.  I’m still reading them.)  Anyhow, we must move on, analyzing the media to death as is its fate.  Today, by special request, we examine the tweets of Mr. Parachute Pants himself, MC Hammer.

Let’s begin:

June 29th, 3:16pm: “http://twiturm.com/px59 The Cha Cha is a West Coast Tradition… you can mix the 2 step with it.. but West Coast Cats LOVE to Cha Cha !!!”

Okay, starting with a plug.  Let’s not make this a shameless promo tweet, MC.

June 29th, 3:19pm: “WEST COAST CHA !!! – http://is.gd/1iiTx”

What did I just say?!

June 29th, 4:19pm: “Here’s a little Cha Cha history..the way my crew do it is with a new twist..next rehersal I’ll make a video.. – http://is.gd/1im3k”

Okay, there’s some history there.  That’s cool.  Why does it sound like midday MTV R&B?

June 29th, 4:20pm: “Rehearsal !!”

Don’t you normally call that “Hammer time”?

June 29th, 5:20pm: “@jeremypiven Where’s the trailer ?””

Oh, hey, cool.  Jeremy Piven is on Twitter.
June 29th, 5:34pm: “The Goods !!!!! Hilarious!!! – http://is.gd/1ipL3″”

Looks okay, but then so did Smokin’ Aces.  Let’s hope it’s not another one of those.

23 hours ago: “The Goods !!!!! Hilarious!!! – http://is.gd/1ipL3 starring Jeremy Piven #thegoods”

Dude, you just tweeted that.  Relax, you’re famous.  You’ll get in a movie eventually.

23 hours ago: “http://twiturm.com/r9x9 Somethin\’ To Party (Dance) 2 !!!”

Cha, cha, cha.  Sounds similar to me.

23 hours ago: “I GOT GIGS !!!… WEST COAST CHA… WHO LOVES ME…Lookin OUT The Window… I Can’t Stand It.. – http://is.gd/1iqJn”

This is just an endless plug for music.

18 hours ago: “http://twiturm.com/nd07 MJ Officially moves into the The Greatest Dancer spot at NO.1 GODFather NO.2 NO.3..This Studio 54 Off The Wall D …”

Hooray?

18 hours ago: “MJ Is THE GREATEST DANCER EVER SEEN !!! – http://is.gd/1iF22″

Okay, that song sounds different.  Not my thing, but whatever.  Don’t you have any songs about cool stuff like Mermaid murder?

17 hours ago:  “@mchammer I\’m warming up with my WEST COAST CHA !!!”

Dude, you realize you’re tweeting to yourself now, right?

17 hours ago:  “WEST COAST CHA !!! Let’s Go ! POW !!!! – http://is.gd/1iHUo”

So this is either a guy who doesn’t really pay attention to his tweets or just relentless promotes himself without any regard to overkill.

17 hours ago:  “Dance 2 the first three songs on the list before bed tonite !!! It’s Summer time..get that body right !! POW !! – http://is.gd/1iJ0i”

Or, I could stuff cake in my mouth while watching reruns of the Venture Brothers on the Adult Swim site.  Yeah, that sounds better.  Mmm, cake.

14 hours ago:  “The Summer of Music continues….. about to post another Dance (Club) jam.. ready ???”

C’mon, tell us something on this.  Did you eat a bagel?  Did you go to the store?  What do you save it all for the reality show?  Give us a crumb!

14 hours ago: “http://twiturm.com/3h3h song was inspired from the fashion shows I was hanging out at ..that international feel.. The models danced craz …”

I guess it’s funky.  Again, not my thing.  Doesn’t really inspire parachute pants dancing to me.

14 hours ago: “Check Out these ladies free styling to SHE GOT IT !!! – http://is.gd/1iRL0″

That’s kinda fun.

13 hours ago: “Show support for democracy in Iran add green ribbon to your Twitter avatar with 1-click – http://helpiranelection.com/”

Whoa!  Did these guys sing on your album or are you actually talking about something that’s not your music?  I don’t know how much that’s gonna help the Iranians.  The best thing we can do is tell Congress to shut their comment holes.  Don’t want to give hardliners any more ammo that the US is interfering.  Hopefully, we aren’t, but you know that last administration…

12 hours ago:  “Close your eyes, listen to the strings till the end of the song …gain some perspective… chorus of sorrow – http://is.gd/1iVsp”

oversell

1. To contract to sell more of (a stock or commodity) than can be delivered.

2. To be too eager or insistent in attempting to sell something to.

3. To present with excessive or unwarranted enthusiasm; overpraise.

12 hours ago: “RT @ZnaTrainer The best & most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.-Helen Keller“

Well, yeah, she WOULD say that.

12 hours ago: “This is another link to all 7 songs….. if the other links don’t work. – http://is.gd/1iJ0i”

Thanks, I didn’t get the other 9 million tweets linking to your music.

4 hours ago: “This will get me pumped for the gym.. SHE GOT IT !!! Making my breakfast shake now !!! – http://is.gd/1jhDd”

MC, seriously, you have a website and they have all these links.  Twittering is for other links.  New links.  Not the same links.

2 hours : “When I wrote It… I never deamed it would make it this far !!! Disney’s new generation..20yrs later… Love it ! – http://is.gd/1jqcI”

Wow.  That’s, um, awful.

7 minutes ago:  “Dreamed !!! …- http://is.gd/1jqcI”

Ditto.

Wow, this is just quite a step down, bros.  MC, you’re not really living the spirit of Twitter.  You’ve, dare I say it, turned it into myspace.  There, I said it.  Well, let’s score it.  For Style, I have to give you a 3.  Just repetitive.  For Mustness, got give you a 1.  You keep repeating the same things that are on your website so there is almost no reason to visit the tweets.  And finally, for Insanity, well, it is kind of insane to keep posting the same thing over and over, but it’s not particularly nutty.  I have to give you a 2.  That’s an overall score of 2.  I’m afraid that’s the lowest ever.  Please go back to twitter school and learn to post things like where you’re driving to, what you’re eating, what movie you just saw and other boring details of your life.   Uncle Marv, can you help?  If you have a contest for Twitter in Focus, email us here.