Super Frat

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is one of the biggest men in professional sports, Shaquille O’Neal!  Let’s see if Shaq is as fast with his tweeting as he is on the basketball court.

February 6th, 12:23am: “Just got stuck in da snowstorm had to put dat thang n 4 wheel drive , vrooooom vrooooooom”

Dude, I’m imagining you pulling that car out with your bare hands.

February 7th, 9:27pm: “I’m sayin it now new orleans saints superbowl champs”

Damn, I knew I should’ve called him before I bet the Colts.  You could’ve saved me a fin, Shaq.  Who do you like in the NBA?

February 7th, 9:34pm: “What I say huh, huh, the 99 year curse is over, congrats to da saints”

Hmm, how long is the curse of Detroit I wonder.

February 7th, 9:49pm: “Shaqstradamus does it again, congatulations new orleans, if any city deserves it, its you guys, now we gotta get lsu b ball bak on track”

Oh, Shaqstradamus, give me tomorrow’s winning lottery numbers.

February 10th, 2:58pm: “All-Star Comedy Jam Show 2 Nokia center Thursday 8pm, 1st Show sold out so we having 2nd show featuring my boy Mike Epps”

Nice.  I could see you doing stand up Shaq.  Maybe do ten minutes on how small airplane seats are or how small compact cars are or how small everything is when you’re Shaq.

February 13th, 2:22pm: “2nd funniest guy in da nba. check it out http://bit.ly/arCFES”

That was pretty funny.  You should tell the Icy Hot people to do something funny like that.

February 16th, 10:08pm: “Has anybody seen wolfman a woooooo”

Heard it was kinda boring.  Shutter Island was okay, but not great.  I just watched the Hangover again and that was awesome.

February 20th, 11:21am: “The first lady is talkin about childhood obesity on cnn, not only is she a great speaker, she is a gorgeous woman, what a speech, thank you”

She is pretty hot.

March 1st, 8:01am: “ going into surgery today on my thumb, will be out for a min but when I return it is on, win da ring for da king! Luv my team, Cavs baby!”

Damn, what happened to your thumb?  Did you hurt it crushing a Volkswagon?

March 3rd, 3:19pm: “I gotta surprise for ya’ll, but follow my fave artist @Peter_Max 1st!”

Ah, buy why is he your favorite?  Did he draw Batman?  And if so, what issues?

March 3rd, 10:40am: “Remember that art project w @Peter_Max I told u about, check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSTAIYyDmSo”

Nice.  Will he be doing the new covers for Steel?

March 4th, 6:14pm: “the legendary @Peter_Max will be on Bubba the Love Sponge SIRIUS Radio 101 this friday w Shaq poster giveaways @ 11:20 EST!”

Nice of you to pimp your friends, Shaq.  2 million follower bump is pretty large.

March 5th, 12:53pm: “the legendary @Peter_Max was on Bubba the Love Sponge, dat was great Peter, u r legendary!”

And follows up with the post appearance bump, nice!

March 6th, 2:14am: “Thank u to all dat sent me birthday tweets, wit my old ass, I kno, thanks love you all especially @_-_-_-__-_”

Oh, hey, welcome to the Pisces Club.  We should get together with some other Pisces and hang out.  It could be like an Oprah Book Club only more Zodiac.  Plus there will be cheese and beer.

March 6th, 12:08pm: “Life delivers weird twists and turns, but never anything you can not handle. With you, it is now more about what you really choose to do”

Very Zen.

March 7th, 2:44am: “The secret to happiness is to nourish our love everyday. Shaq onea”

Yeah, nourish while you crush some defender!  Boom!

March 7th, 2:45am: “Dnt allow succes or craving of money and power to replace your love”

Dude, I can only hope to have that problem one day.

March 7th, 12:02pm: “Respect is like a seed, it needs 2 b nurtured wit integrity,love and faith in god. Self respect is da 1st and last step 2 wholesome living”

Shaq, I think that guy who lives in your house and smokes weed all day must’ve gotten access to your twitter account.

March 8th, 12:58pm: “Wut you lookin at? http://yfrog.com/jd7lcj”

Now that seemed more like a typical Shaq post.

9 hours ago: “Legendary Peter Max paints life size Shaq :) dats right & signed by meee!! Don’t I look good n dat suit! :) www.facebook.com/shaq”

Nice.  Must’ve used the paint from two Home Depots to finish that.

1 hour ago: ““In one’s life, simplicity is extremely important in order to obtain happiness. Abandon faulty states of mind and faulty people. D lama”

Look at you getting all Buddhist.  When you give away your money, can I have some of it.  I still haven’t determined that obscene wealth is an empty experience and I need to be sure.

Okay, let’s rate Shaq’s tweets.  I give him a 7 for Style, seems pretty genuine.  5 for Insanity, you gotta be only a little nuts to play b ball like him.  And finally, an 8 for Mustness.  C’mon, it’s Shaq.  That’s an overall score of 6.6.  Not bad.

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