Super Frat

So the Missus and I like to go out to eat. On the weekends or whenever we need to get out of the house, we like to go for a little nosh. A few days ago, we stopped by our local diner, ordered up some food and chit chatted before we went to see Iron Man 2.

In the booth behind us, two young women came in. Maybe they’re like 22. The waitress, who was a different waitress from ours, goes up to them and almost immediately starts a conversation. Now when I say “conversation”, I don’t mean the normal friendly small talk between waitress and customer, I mean an actual conversation. It was as if she had met two friend, but as the conversation continued, it was pretty clear they had just met.

I don’t remember the whole conversation, but the three girls had a lot in common. Mostly, they talked about how their former boyfriends and/or husbands had restraining orders against them. Bros, what is it with guys and restraining orders? I mean, yeah, on the one hand if you live with a woman and she tosses your ass out, she can easily get one against you. But, Jeez. These did not sound like the typical break up restraining orders. It sounded like all three women had somehow magically hooked up with complete douchebags. How do these douchebags keep getting girlfriends, bros? I mean, if they get girlfriends, they breed, because douchebags don’t used condoms.

Back to the conversation. So at some point, the waitress has some insight into her own messed up relationship. I could see the Missus getting increasing annoyed that this lost Jerry Springer guest wouldn’t just shut up and take an order. Me? I was fascinated. She said something like, “My kid’s daddy and I knew each other forever, but after we got married, we realized we couldn’t be parents together.”

Now think about that, they had to have kids AND get married before they figured that out. How can you not see the signs ahead of time? Were there no discussions about how to raise the kids? Then she said something like, “Well, when I had my THIRD kid…” Third kid?! It took you three kids to figure this out? You’re the world’s worst waitress (by this time, our waitress had served us AND another booth) and you don’t know you should start using protection? Don’t you think after the first kid, you might get an inkling that your baby’s daddy isn’t all that? And if you’re working as a waitress and raising three kids alone, don’t you think you should maybe think about PLANNING a family before you ride someone bare back?

So then she wraps up by saying something like, “Well I get off at 11…” so now she’s like anxious to go out with these two women she just met. Because it was like only 10:50, which probably partially explains while she felt comfortable chatting them up at the end of her shift. But she’s got three kids to go home to, it’s 11pm, shouldn’t she go home? I guess that’s why she has three kids, she likes to party.

Finally, on the way out, I hear her come back with an order and explain to the girls that it was only her “second day on the job” and that her boss was giving her the eye. Second day on the job!? So let me get this straight. You just got this job, you got three kids to support, but hey, let’s go out partying at 11pm with two other girls who don’t know a douchebag from a nice guy either? Braux Pas, bros. Major Braux Pas.