Super Frat

Hey bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is Dave Matthews! Yes, that Dave Matthews, bro. I know, I know, I run a college-related website and you’ve been wondering where is the Dave Matthews section? Why no Dave Matthews? Will there be Dave Matthews? Shut up already, here he is.

August 31st, 2009, 11:47pm: “I had a very good day. But the frog in my throat turned out to be a cane toad.”

Holy crap. I think you’d be dead if that were true.

September 1st, 4:08am: “I’m afraid my voice is f*cked. I’m sorry if I sound like shit. Doctors. Give that horse a shot so he can finish the race.”

You don’t have to censor yourself, Dave. This is the internet. Go fucking nuts.

September 1st, 2:41pm: “I’m very sorry for cancelling the show. I guess a snow day is better than early retirement. I just hate cancelling shows. Broken contract.”

Dude, your throat is your bank. Gotta protect that.

September 2:44pm: “The fact that the cancellation happened in salt lake again is even more frustrating. Im truly sorry. If you see me in the grocery store….”

September 2:45pm: “Flip me the bird.”

I do that to people anyway. Don’t take it personally. It’s like aloha to me.

September 1st, 2:48pm: “I should stop eating frogs and horses or I’ll go the way of the old woman that was and swallowed a fly. She’s dead of course. Thanks y’all”

That doesn’t rhyme, you must really be sick.

September 1st, 2:53pm: “I’m getting a little chalk board to talk. Maybe I’ll just crawl back under my quiet musky rock. I like bugs and critters. No pot of gold.”

Well, don’t forget your iphone so you can still Twitter.

September 1st, 2:58pm: “What if everyone’s Twitter picture was of them flipping the bird. Maybe for a couple days. Maybe forever. Meant well or not. Just fun no?”

You know, you have a lot of followers, but no recent posts. I think you need to push that harder if you want it to happen.

September 1st, 3:25pm: “Birds birds birds”

That’s just the fever talking, Dave.

September 1st, 4:25pm: “Thanks for the fingers. I’ll get mine up when I’m near my computer.”

I have a feeling you’ll be out of time after you get healthy.

September 3rd, 12:36am: “http://yfrog.com/0ulovj United afront Hello”

You should add the English version in there too.

September 4th, 4:10pm: “I would suggest that we should not take the bird flipping public as the majority of people would not understand and things might get ugly.”

No, no, it’ll be cool. Like when everyone was saying, “Smell you Later”.

September 4th, 4:13pm: “The finger has an ability to cause instant anger and I would hate anyone to get slapped or popped in the head for it. Leave it on Twitter.”

Spoil sport.

October 20th, 6:55pm: “Danny Barnes’ new album Pizza Box is out today on iTunes. I love the man and I love his music. You will too.”

Very hillbilly.

October 20th, 5:56pm: “Its my favorite rock record my favorite country record. I can’t stop listening. Get a song for free @ http://dannybarnes.com.”

Great, now you’ll follow him and forget to tweet for months.

February 9, 2010, 3:53pm: “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhMJR-29En0”

Um, okay. Guess you’re done with twitter.

Let’s rate Dave’s tweets. Mustness, definitely a 0. Looks like Dave is done. For Style, I give him a 7 and for Insanity a 2. That’s an overall score of 3. Too bad. Guess Dave is off the grid following Danny Barnes. Come back, Dave! Come Back! If you have a suggestion for twitter in focus, email us here.