Character Bios: Brother Bitter
on March 5, 2011 at 12:01 am
Name: Jonathan Bitters, Bitter, Brother Bitter
Rank: Webmaster, Brother, Lambda Sigma Rho
Superpowers: Super Intelligence, Obscenity, Sarcasm
Bitter is bitter. Hailing from Gripe, Arizona, Bitter joined Lambda Sigma Rho, but immediately regretted it. The Rush Chairman, Rubber, had anal sex with Bitter’s then girlfriend on the roof of the frat house. He’s been trying to get out of the frat ever since.
After the meteor hit, while everyone else seem to get a power that enhanced their life in some way, Bitter’s brain grew to enormous size, while his body shriveled a little. This has made him even more bitter and less popular with the ladies. Bitter is the only bro in the frat actively engaged in trying to find out where the meteor was from and how to remove his powers or as he puts it, “trying to get the assholes that did this to me”.
Bitter has an extensive headquarters in the subbasement of the frat house full of computers and his various inventions. He jealousy guards them from the rest of the frat. Shortly after getting his powers, he tried to kill the rest of his bros, but the frat house wouldn’t let him. He has since shelved his revenge plan for the time being.
Bitter discovered the Nazi Robot rampaging in Collegetown, he also built the Franken’Gine monster, originally intending it being his sex slave. Bitter drove the bros to Spring Break in South Padre in his van, but couldn’t find a parking space and never got out of his vehicle. He is a devotee of Dick Masterson, Professional Chauvinist.
GPA: 5.0
Major: Engineering
First Appearance: Backdoor Shenanigans
