Rewritten Headlines: Drug Sniffing Dogs to Red Wine
on January 7, 2012 at 2:14 amNews you can use and read in less than a minute. Welcome to Rewritten Headlines. The news in briefer brief than anyone’s briefed before.
Real: Supreme Court to Review Use of Drug-Sniffing Dog at Door of a House
Rewritten: Supreme Court Poised to Allow Police Dogs to Shit on Your Carpet at Any Time
Real: Expert: Secret X-37B Plane Isn’t Spying on China
Rewritten: Secret Plane Badly Spying on China
Real: “Fast Five” Tops Most Pirated Movies of 2011 on BitTorrent
Rewritten: Internet Users Enjoy Stealing Shitty Movie
Real: Ron Paul, Supporters Arrive in NH
Rewritten: Media Prepares to Ignore Candidate and Several Thousand Supporters
Real: Van Halen Unveils New Tour with Roth Aboard
Rewritten: David Lee Roth No Longer Unemployed
Real: Good News for Women Who Like a Glass of Red
Rewritten: Red Wine Extends Lives of Women Drinking Alone