Rewritten Headlines: Marijuana to Contraception
on February 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Hey, bros! Back with the Rewritten News. I don’t know what happened. I posted it last night and it didn’t appear, so I just wrote another. Enjoy!
Real: Marijuana Users Twice As Likely To Cause Car Crash
Rewritten: Potheads Terrible At Balancing Bong on Dash
Real: The Himalayas and Nearby Peaks Have Lost No Ice in the Last Ten Years
Rewritten: Mountains Still Cold, Coors Still Safe
Real: Tiger Woods Gathers Momentum on Opening Round of PGA Tour
Rewritten: Tiger Woods Looking to Impress Hot Chicks Again
Real: iPad 3 Rumors Solidify Around Release Window, But Not Features
Rewritten: Hipsters Poised to Throw Away iPad 2’s
Real: Macaulay Culkin Drops Off iPod for DJ Gig
Rewritten: Paparazzi Still Won’t Leave Home Alone Kid Alone
Real: Vladamir Putin Receives First Sample of Lake Vostock Water
Rewritten: Vladamir Putin Mixes a Badass Scotch and Water for Himself
Real: Obama Tweaks Birth Control Rule
Rewritten: Dems Poised to Capitulate on Birth Control to Appease No One
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