Rewritten Headlines: Monkeypox to G-Spots
on April 27, 2012 at 12:01 amWelcome to the Rewritten News. News! Without tact! Just the fact!
Real: CDC: Passenger on Delta Flight Did Not Have Monkeypox
Rewritten: Delta Airlines Now Monkeypox-Free
Real: Biden Trumpets Obama’s Foreign Policy Successes
Rewritten: Government Worker Kisses Boss’s Ass
Real: World Hails Taylor War Crimes Conviction
Rewritten: World Hails War Crimes Conviction in World’s Weakest Country
Real: Starbucks Sales in China Contribute to Earnings Rise
Rewritten: Chinese Now Addicted to Choco-Mocha Lattes
Real: Fringe Renewed For a Fifth Season on Fox!
Rewritten: X-Files Just Won’t Die
Real: NHL Fans Let Loose With Racist Comment After Loss
Rewritten: Hockey Fans Even Bigger Douches Than Previously Thought
Real: Despite Veto Threat, House Passes Cyber Security Bill
Rewritten: Congress Still Working Hard to Fuck Up Internet
Real: Twitter for iPhone, Android Updated With Better Search and Discovery Features
Rewritten: Annoying Tweets Expanded for Other Assholes to Use
Real: Mars Researcher Spies Odd Lava Spirals
Rewritten: Lonely Scientist Has Boring Conversation With Reporter
Real: Doctor Says He’s Found the Actual G-spot
Rewritten: Doctor is Going to Get Laid a Lot
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