Rewritten Headlines: Dale Earnhardt Jr. to Robot Arm
on May 18, 2012 at 12:01 amIt’s the Rewritten News! Headlines without tact! Now welcome your Rewritten News Team!
Real: After Dark, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Goes to Walmart
Rewritten: Rich Hillbilly Still Likes Cheap Tube Socks
Real: Healthy Food Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive, USDA Insists
Rewritten: USDA Employees Have Way Much More Time to Cook Than Most People
Real: Coffee Linked to Lower Risk of Death
Rewritten: Being Wired and Pissed Off Good for You
Real: Facebook Co-Founder Fires Back at Senators’ Accusations
Rewritten: “Fuck Off,” Says Rich Guy to Congress
Real: After Media Clash, Romney Shows Reporters Warmer Side
Rewritten: GOP Android Still Trying to Prove He’s Human
Real: Biden Stumps at Washington Count Barbecue Joint
Rewritten: Politician Pretends He’s Not Better Than Everyone Else for a Short Time
Real: Rare Tyrannosaurus To Be Auctioned in Chelsea
Rewritten: Nicholas Cage Soon to Blow a Shitload of Money
Real: U.S. Redefines Afghan Success Before Conference
Rewritten: U.S. Still Using George Orwell’s 1984 as Blueprint
Real: San Francisco Bay Area City Puts Soda Tax on November Ballot: Money Would Go To Fight Obesity
Rewritten: Gays Not a Fan of Love Handles
Real: Paralyzed Woman Moves Robotic Arm With Thought Alone
Rewritten: The Future Looks Bright for Masturbaters
Isn’t Nick being foreclosed on his pyramid?
Quite possible. He’s had some money woes.