Jan26
Ten Things You’ll Never See in the J.J. Abrams Star Wars Movie
on January 26, 2013 at 12:01 am
1. Jar-Jar Binks (unless it’s to show him just long enough to get set on fire)
2. Mr. Spock traveling back in time to explain why the CGI has so much more lens flare.
3. Revealing that Walter Bishop actually invented the light saber.
4. A lame-ass revamp decades later of one of the main characters not shooting first.
5. Cameo by Tom Cruise as world’s best and shortest Jedi.
6. Entire movie shot POV from shaky droid’s video camera.
7. Boba Fett getting played by a Jennifer Garner spy character.
8. Time travel to reveal that Darth Vader actually escaped from Alcatraz.
9. Ugly chicks.
10. An explanation of why the Jedi council gets trapped on a mysterious island.
