Jul01
Ten Things I Learned on the Hottest Day in History
on July 1, 2013 at 12:01 am
1. Bacon and eggs cook in about two minutes on the dash of your car.
2. Sunblock should be at least 1/4″ thick.
3. Walking barefoot on beach sand is a quick way to get 2nd degree burns.
4. California is doomed to burned to the ground.
5. Trying to get a base tan gives you melanoma.
6. Only someone delirious from heat stroke would go see the movie “The Heat”.
7. Climate change deniers are a bunch of assholes.
8. Turning on your sprinklers allows you to steam cook your grass in about 30 seconds.
9. Without sunglasses, retinas burst into flame.
10. If James Gandolfini wasn’t dead yet, the heat and humidity would’ve killed him by now.
