Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies
on August 3, 2013 at 12:01 amWhen it comes to movies, they’re so expensive these days, I’d rather stay home and watch Regular Show. But if there’s a good movie, I’ll see it. But I have to be choosy. Here now are the movies I’m not seeing and why.
Lee Daniels’ The Butler: Sounds super boring. Any movie that can be show to a high school history class, I’m sure I’ll stumble upon one random Sunday on TV when I’m looking for something to watch. Pass.
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: How many more versions of Twilight and the Hunger Games are there? Hollywood trend ending in 5…4…3…
You’re Next: You know, there’s a big difference between a movie that’s scary and a movie that portrays a lot of horrible murders. I suspect this movie is the latter. If I want to see a lot of gore, I’ll just go to r/WTF on Reddit.
One Direction: This is Us: I’m not a 14 year-old girl, so pass.
Insidious: Chapter 2: Eh. How good can this be? Maybe it’s because I don’t believe in ghosts. If ghosts can harass you, why don’t they just kill you?
Battle of the Year: Let me tell you something about dance movies. I hate them. I hate the dancing, I hate the music that they dance to— I hate it all. But I especially hate modern dance movies because they are all the same fucking movie. Some chick who wants to dance, add forbidden love and some kind of dance contest— Boom. Movie.
I would rather be the target in a World’s Most Dangerous Game scenario for two hours against the characters from You’re Next than see this movie. To see this movie, I would have to be dating some chick at supermodel level status to sit through this. I would rather jump into a pit of live bees naked that see this flick.
I don’t want to see it. Understand? I won’t.