Ten Things You’ll Never See Taken Back to College
on September 7, 2013 at 12:01 am
1. Your crazy ex from high school.
2. Any props or clothing from failed attempts to “reinvent” yourself freshman year.
3. Your crazy summer crush (possibly the same as #1).
4. Food your mother packed for you (eaten on the ride back to campus).
5. Leftover summer schwag (weed is so much better at college)
6. A microwave (let’s break the roommate’s microwave or at least make him pay for half of it this time)
7. That pack Ramen noodles in the one flavor you hate from freshman year (because you’re only going to end up carrying them home and back again next year).
8. Pictures of you as an awkward teen. (This is what you were trying to escape, remember?)
9. Any pet that lives inside of an aquarium. (Do you really want your drunken roommate to swallow it or free it in the girl’s dorm again?)
10. Pictures of your crazy ex. (Are you trying not to get laid? You only get four years.)
