Super Frat

Movies are expensive and you’ve got to be choosey.  Here’s another installment of what I’m not seeing these movies.

Frankie & Alice:  A 4 year-old movie about a go-go dancer with a multiple personality disorder?  First off, that’s it’s four years old is a dead giveaway that something probably went seriously wrong with this film.  Second, multiple personality disorder is usually just an excuse for an actor to play more than one character.  Even though it’s Halle Berry and it’s likely she’s nude, gotta pass.  Can’t risk another Catwoman.

Draft Day:  AKA: Moneyball with Football starring Kevin Costner.  Sports movies are a tough sell for me in either case, but pass.

Oculus:  They are promoting the Hell out of this.  That means, to me, that it probably needs that much promotion before it dies.  I’m out.

A Haunted House 2: What’s this?  Scary Movie 12?  I don’t even watch the movies this potential crap is based on.

Maleficent:  No.

Heaven is Real:  It’s not and I’m positive the filmmakers aren’t going to make the heaven I envision, because the poster doesn’t picture a strip club made of chocolate.

The Other Woman:  Did you ever want to get up in the middle of a trailer and walk out of the room?

Brick Mansions:  AKA: The Fast and Parkouriest.

Neighbors:  Normally, I like Seth Rogen movies, but this looks like he’s transitioning into the realm of projects Ice Cube rejected.

Godzilla:  Oh, look at the time!  It’s half-past Godzilla already?  C’mon.  Were these movies ever good?  I remember watching the originals as a kid and enjoying the guys in rubber suits wailing on each other.  But even then, it was camp.  I don’t think any amount of special effects will sell this.

Blended:  My assumption is that at some point, Adam Sandler’s deal with Satan to do movies will have to run out.  But will I live long enough?