Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Fried Boneless Chicken Sandwich
on August 18, 2014 at 12:01 amIngredients: Boneless breasts of chicken, bread crumbs, corn oil, egg water, bread.
Step 1: Return from kegger already wasted.
Step 2: Decide that you are too drunk to leave, but too sober to pass out.
Step 3: Find package of boneless chicken in fraternity fridge. Vow to eat said chicken.
Step 4: Get out frying pan, poor way too much oil in it.
Step 5: Turn on burner.
Step 6: Realize you’ve placed the frying pan on the wrong burner.
Step 7: Grab red hot frying pan handle that was over the burner you turned on, drop pan.
Step 8: Scream obscenities while washing burned hand under faucet.
Step 9: Slip on oil which is now all over the floor and hit head against sink.
Step 10: Curse and pass out on floor.
Step 11: Wake up 20 minutes later, slip attempting to get up.
Step 12: Roll out of oil and stumble into bathroom.
Step 13: Forget whether you had to vomit or shit in bathroom. Sit on bowl and vomit in bath tub.
Step 14: Abandon oil soaked shorts and underwear on bathroom floor, stagger to frat brother’s bedroom by mistake.
Step 15: Pass out on frat brother’s bed.
Step 16: Wake up to sound of fire alarm and frat brothers screaming.
Step 17: Walk out into smoke-filled hallway, deny you were making chicken.
Step 18: Go outside, wait for firemen.
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