Sep27
Ten Things I Expect My Dog Would Ask If She Could Talk
on September 27, 2014 at 12:01 am
1. Why don’t you just fill my bowl with treats instead of doling them out one at a time?
2. Why don’t you just leave the door open so I can leave when I want?
3. Why do you make me leave the room when you look at porn?
4. Why do you keep throwing out the garbage when that shit smells so good?
5. Did you ever try and lick your own crotch? It’s pretty awesome.
6. Why is your food cooked and prepared and my food looks like dried rabbit pellets?
7. Why do you keep leaving?
8. Who are those other dogs I hear barking in the distance?
9. What do those God damned squirrels taste like?!
10. Can you pet me now? x 1,000,000,000
