Ten Reasons Why Tim Cook Should Give His Fortune to Me
on March 28, 2015 at 12:01 am
Apple bigwig, Tim Cook, is giving away $700 million dollars. Here are ten reasons why he should give it to me.
1. I won’t have to beg people on Patreon.
2. I could probably make at least 200 million webcomics with it and at least six of them would be awesome or have boobs.
3. I could finally live my dream of dying on a pile of high-price hookers and cocaine.
4. I could fund ridiculous scientific research to resurrect John Belushi.
5. Wife would totally be impressed.
6. Would use money to make strange Fratoscope predictions come true.
7. Could finally go on Shark Tank and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.
8. Finance Super Frat movie and do cameo as Security Guard that motorboats bikini girl.
9. Finance next Channing Tatum movie to assure it is never made.
10. Dress in Batman costume, punch random assholes and escape the legal consequences.
