Super Frat

Your pledgemaster may not know the difference between summer break and cutting class during the year (as he is usually equally drunk during both times), but he is a professional pledgemaster.  As such, he sits in judgment of all.  Hear-ye, hear-ye!  Here’s what is Fratty and Not Fratty:

Wikileaks:  Fratty

You gotta love a website that sticks it to rich guys.  Plus, you gotta respect that Julian Assange hasn’t been droned by the U.S. military.

Rachel Dolezal:  Not Fratty

Look, when you get caught lying, there’s no sense continuing the lie.  I would’ve had more respect for this woman if she just answered, “You got me!  Sorry everyone.”

The FCC:  Fratty?

The FCC has vowed to curb robocalls.  If they actually do it, I say, fratty.  Beats covering up boobs and swear words on TV.

Miley Cyrus:  Fratty?

Miley may have the hottest sex tape in the works if the rumors are true.  That would be some Fratty shit, bros!

Chocolate:  Fratty

Turns out, scientists found out that chocolate is good for the heart.  I just play it safe and eat whatever I want.  Scientists will figure out all foods are good for you eventually, right?

Game of Thrones, Season 5:  Not So Fratty

The show is kinda sliding.  Usually by now, half the cast from Season 4 would be dead and replaced.

The Chive:  Fratty

For a website that’s basically a bunch of pictures, it’s not bad.  Gives me something to live vicariously through during the summer.  Plus it has a lot of classy near-porn.

Comcast:  Never Fratty

It’s 3 am and I’m trying to stream porn like a normal person.  But does my Comcast signal cooperate?  No!  And after I call the stupid automate phone machine, it tells me I have to wait until 6am for naked lesbians!  God dammit!