Ten Reasons Why I Didn’t Go to Comic Con
on July 13, 2015 at 12:01 am
1. No hotel is worth $400 without a blowjob included.
2. Every event on YouTube within hours of occurring.
3. Can ogle cosplay girls in the privacy of own home without getting chastised.
4. Instead of paying for overpriced convention center food, can eat equally delicious food from any dumpster for free.
5. Can’t take another awkward conversation with Lou Feriggno about why I don’t need his autograph.
6. Don’t have to travel to San Diego to buy comic shit.
7. More interested in attending a con with more comic books than TV stars.
8. Sick of local news reporters that do nothing but interview cosplayers.
9. Do not want to explain to fans why I hate The Walking Dead and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV shows.
10. Would rather spend weekend stuffing face and updating webcomics.
I agree with them all. In particular, I’d rather you spend the weekend stuffing your face and updating webcomics!