Your Fratoscope: October 11, 2015
on October 11, 2015 at 12:01 amIf your birthday is this week: Your birthday cake is kinda small, but then Ho-ho’s are only a few inches across.
Aries: You’ll discover Call of Duty wasn’t very good training for actual fighting in Afghanistan.
Taurus: You’ll send your dog to get toilet paper while you’re in the bathroom, but he’ll steal your car again.
Gemini: This week, you’ll put cheese on one too many things.
Lemini: The stars say, that last drink will put you over the limit, but it will be hilarious crash into a clown museum.
Cancer: You will be intimidated by a group of rough looking girl scouts.
Leo: There’s a great deal of transforming energy around you, especially since you bought that Optimus Prime toy.
Virgo: You will be rejected for membership in the Dollar Shave Club.
Libra: Your monkey will do a terrible job on your taxes.
Scorpio: The stars say, you’re going to have a ton of bubblegum stuck to your genitals this week.
Sagittarius: Your mechanic will demand you remove your pet badger from under the hood before he does any more work for you.
Capricorn: You’ll get a paper cut that goes to the bone.
Aquarius: You will challenge the might of an empire, but your mother will talk you out of going any further.
Pisces: An unexpected windfall means only one thing: tacos!
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