Twitter in Focus: Anthony Jeselnik
on February 17, 2016 at 12:01 amHey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Anthony Jeselnik. He’s funny on stage, let’s see what he’s tweeting.
November 16th: “At long last, Charlie Sheen really does have it all.”
Ba-zing! South Park is right. AIDS is finally funny.
November 19th: “This week I take the NFL to the blood bank, Senator, for their severe lack of patriotism. #RJVP ”
Comedy central to the NFL. Definitely a step up.
November 19th: “Fifteen years. A small price to pay for peace of mind.”
Five…five…five or more footlongs.
December 2nd: “Guns don’t kill people. But they sure as shit don’t do them any favors.”
Yeah. A gun borrowed $200 from me. Still haven’t see dollar one back.
December 6th: “I’ll believe Jimmy Carter’s brain cancer is gone when I hear it from someone who doesn’t have brain cancer.”
He’s like the Ned Flanders of presidents.
December 10th: “This week I straight up kill it like a box of turtles. #RJVP ”
That’s obviously a joke. Anyone who has done it, knows that it takes forever.
January 7th: “Achtung: this one is a little weird. But at least I finally address the Gilmore Girls controversy. ”
Finally!
January 9th: “Big Ben and Joey Porter are an unstoppable team.”
I’m not up on sports. I assume these guys make ice cream.
January 13th: “Not all ducks. https://twitter.com/whattheffacts/status/687175546908721152 …”
I assumed all ducks were raped.
January 21st: “”A thing is not beautiful because it lasts forever.” #RJVP ”
Gotta get you a sitcom, AJ. Too funny for sports.
January 29th: “You’re on some bullshit if you think you can have a Gilmore Girls revival without ol’ Jez. ”
You were on that show?
February 4th: “If you only listen to one podcast this year, make it RJVP episode 15. Special thanks to Roger Goodell. http://www.nfl.com/podcasts?series=rosenthaljeselnikvanity-podcast …”
Ah, well. There are too many podcasts anyway.
February 13th: “Funny. I actually support Scalia on this one.”
Now who will go with Cheney when he shoots guys in the face?
Okay, let’s rate Anthony’s tweets. I give him a 7 for Mustness, an 8 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. Follow Anthony. Funny guy. Hopefully, he gets a movie or TV show soon.
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