Super Frat

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant has a Twitter account made for this column.  He is Deaf Frat Guy.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@DeafFratGuy

March 21st:  “Trump Fragrance is said to capture the spirit of the driven man with a masculine combo of vetiver, geranium, tonka beans and notes of musk.”

I gotta imagine his fragrance smells like fresh dollar bills, whiskey and ignorance.

March 21st:  “Anyone who puts geranium and tonka beans in their fragrance to give it a more masculine character is batshit crazy- and a genius.”

Trump is definitely both.

March 31st:  “Sometimes I get a little bummed out about my hearing.”

Look on the bright side, you don’t have to hear your girlfriend tell you about their day.

April 1st:  “It is with profound sadness that I announce Poochie’s Uncle has died from the Zika virus. APRIL FOOL’S!!! HELL YEAH POOCHIE’S UNCLE”

Poochie has an uncle?  They have really expanded that Itchy & Scratchy Show.

April 1st:  “Poochie’s Uncle sat on his balls again!”

Wow, what is he?  60?

April 1st:  “Moose just ass-fucked Caitlyn Jenner!! Nah, April Fool’s!”

Who is in your frat?  The entire gang from Riverdale?

April 4th:  “I like breast.”

Well, duh, you’re in a frat.

April 4th:  “Are you FOPU? (Friend of Poochie’s Uncle)”

I’m seeing a t-shirt concession.

April 4th:  “Seaworld phasing out live Orca theatrical shows by 2019 = JV or ALL BALLS?”

It’s the only way we’ll get orca steaks back in Trader Joe’s.

April 4th:  “So far the vast majority of dudes think Seaworld phasing out its Orca theatrical shows by 2019 is JV. Some bros are pissed.”

Really?  I mean, it’s not a great place to pick up chicks or even to take a date.  Plus no alcohol.  Where’s the upside?

April 7th:  “Medics were shocked to find an 18-inch long cassava root, carved into a phallic shape, stuck in a 55-year-old local man’s anal cavity.”

See?  Can’t see that at an orca show.

Okay, let’s rate this bro and his superpower of not-hearing.  I give him a 7 for Mustness, an 8 for Style and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.  Follow Deaf Frat Guy.

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