Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies: 2017
on January 16, 2017 at 12:01 am
Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies: 2017
written by Tony DiGerolamo, Copyright 2017
Going to the movies is now officially a luxury the average person has to question. I mean, $12 a ticket, $8 for food— That’s $20 a head for what? And they show you commercials? But besides the big price, WTF is even worth seeing? Here now is Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies: 2017.
Split: No. Characters that are crazy are a literary cop-out, but multiple personalities? C’mon. More isn’t always better. Norman Bates had only one extra personality.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter: I love zombie movies and even I won’t see this. Well, on the bright side, it is the final chapter.
A Dog’s Purpose: Dog movies? What is this? 1953? Pass.
Rings: Not everything is a franchise. I mean, just because something is visually distinct doesn’t mean the story can continue. How many times can they do this? Not a chance I pay for this.
Fifty Shades Darker: No.
The Great Wall: Why is Matt Damon in this movie? What is it with movies starring white guys going to another culture and showing everyone in the other culture how to kick ass? Last Samurai? Tarzan? Anyone? They should replace Matt Damon in this movie with the puppet of Matt Damon from Team America.
Patient Zero: Again, zombie fan here, but they are beating this genre to death. Plus I sense it’s another zombie movie that downplays the zombies. No thanks.
Everybody Loves Somebody: Huh? What? Oh, sorry, fell asleep half way through that title. Pass.
Rock Dog: Seriously? Are people even trying at this point? Do they think kids are all brain damaged? This looks like Poochie the Movie!
Okay, I’m going back to look at something on Netflix. At least those horrible movies are cheap.
