Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Chicken Soup
on January 29, 2018 at 12:01 amIngredients: Hot freshman chick, can of chicken soup, microwave, $17, one beer, your bro’s car, cold medicine
Step 1: Make out with hot freshman chick who sneezes alot at fraternity kegger.
Step 2: Wake up next day, realize she was sick and now you are too.
Step 3: Borrow bro’s car while he’s passed out from previous night’s kegger.
Step 4: Drive to store. Realize $17 is only enough for cold medicine and one can of soup. Buy both.
Step 5: Drive back to campus, take cold medicine.
Step 6: Uncan soup, forget you just took cold medicine and drink a beer.
Step 7: Put soup in microwave as you’re getting drowsy.
Step 8: Pass out on kitchen counter, wake up to smoke alarm.
Step 9: Realize you set the microwave to 300 minutes instead of three minutes, the kitchen is on fire and everyone is screaming.
Step 10: Get dragged outside frat house and checked by EMT’s.
Step 11: EMT’s tell you that you have a cold and should get soup and plenty of rest.