Super Frat

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!

Today’s contestant is one of the few celebrities in Hollywood not trying to solve everything in politics through his Twitter account, Fozzie Bear!  Let’s see what he’s tweeting!

@FozzieBear

January 21st:  “How to deal with hecklers, Fozzie style: Bring your car keys onstage so you can make a quick getaway.”

And if they’re babies, you can just jingle them.

January 22nd:  “I heard a fairytale villain lost his hair. Now he’s The Big BALD Wolf! Ahhhh! I’ll huff and I’ll puff and this joke will blow you away! #WockaWocka!”

Well, that joke blows, that’s for sure.

January 24th:  “How’d the Australian chess player ask for his dinner bill? He said, “Check, mate.” Ahhhh! When it comes to chess jokes, I’m no ROOKie! #WockaWocka!”

You’re the king, Fozzie.  Or at least a bishop.

January 24th:  “Happy Birthday to my very funn-ee friend @kristenschaaled. #ManyHappyReturns! BTW: I got you a rubber chicken as a present. If you decide to re-gift, I’ll take it.”

I hope the rubber chicken had bunny ears.

January 25th:  “What is every high-tech pirate’s must-have accessory? An iPatch! Ahhhh! Arrrr you laughing yet? #WockaWocka!”

And Apple charges $400 per patch.  Outrageous!

January 26th:  “Why did the pie break up with the ice cream? They had crust issues! Ahhhh! Hope this one is filling you with joy. #WockaWocka!”

Ouch.  That one was painful.

January 27th:  “What’s every ballerina’s favorite number? 22! Ahhhh! Get it? 22? Two-two… Tutu! #WockaWocka! (Sometimes explaining the gag DOES make it funnier!)”

I take it back, now THAT was painful.

January 28th:  “What’s a lawyer’s favorite dessert? A sue-fflé! Boy, that one was brief. Ahhhh! Get it? Law? Brief? #WockaWocka!”

I’ll file this one under “nice try”.  Not that I’m judging.

January 29th:  “Great comics make their own coconut custard cream pies for the old pie-in-the-face gag. Audiences can always tell the homemade difference!”

Wait, are your pies real or puppet pies?

10 hours ago:  “What water feature is always up to date on the latest news? A current! Ahhhh! Go on, let the laughter wash you away. #WockaWocka!”

You really hosed us with that one.

Okay, let’s rate Fozzie’s tweets.  I give him a 7 for Style, a 9 for Mustness and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.3, but I’m lowering it to 8 because I can bear-ly stand the puns!  Ha!

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