Feb05
Ten Things I Expect Now That the Eagles Won the Super Bowl
on February 5, 2018 at 2:45 am
- Angry Patriots Fans tie down Tom Brady and force feed him cheesesteaks as punishment.
- Every window in South Philly gets smashed out by something green during the parade.
- Statue of Mayor Rizzo melted down to build statue of Nick Foles.
- It’s later revealed that despite the loss, the Patriots cheated.
- Bud Light goes bankrupt after victory parade.
- Philadelphia fans to become even more insufferable in other venues.
- “Fly Eagles Fly” song changed to “Fuck Everybody Else, We Won!”
- Boston must change its name to “Shit Town” after losing bet between mayors.
- Philadelphia drives itself into bankruptcy building an even bigger, more ostentatious stadium.
- Victory parade lasts six days causing two hundred million dollars in damage.
