Super Frat

I am the ultimate spoiler because I ruin the movie for myself without even seeing it.  Here now is Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies.

Ready Player One:  I have no reason to dislike this movie.  Just a gut feeling that it will be over sentimental and tone deaf when it comes to video gamers.  Pass.

Tyler Perry’s Acrimony:  You put Tyler Perry’s name ahead of anything and I’m not going.  Pass.

Blockers:  No.  Hollywood seems to be going the way of comic book conventions.  Now that comics don’t bring in the crowds, it’s time to go for wrestlers.

Truth or Dare:  Lemme guess.  Beautiful near-teens dying one by one?  May have seen this one like a thousand times.

Overboard:  Really?  All the movies that had come out, you’re going to remake this?  This wasn’t even good when Kurt Russel was in it.

Rampage:  Are you fucking kidding me?  I mean, this is really scraping the bottom of the barrel of video game concepts.  There was barely a story in the game!  Thankfully, they haven’t decided to make a Time Pilot movie and ruin that for me.

I Feel Pretty:  At this point, how many times is Amy Schumer going to release a movie and then call me names for not seeing it?  I don’t care if this movie is actually good, I’m out.  I got Netflix, I don’t need this.

Life of the Party:  AKA: Back to School for Chicks.  Kind of hard to beat Rodney Dangerfield, especially since this is probably going to be incredibly PC.  I’ll wait for the reviews, thanks.

Dark Crimes:  AKA: Jim Carrey tries to reinvent his career.  Still waiting for Fireman Bill the Movie.

Book Club:  Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen and—  No, thanks you.  If I want to see a bunch of old women, I’ll search on the dating sites for women my age.  Hi-yo!