Super Frat

Today’s skit comes straight out of the car.  Driving around with Christian this week, we’ve been pitching ideas.  This is one of them. It probably needs some tweaking. Some bit about steroids.

Broduce Junction!
written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2018

INT. PRODUCE MARKET-DAY

DAN, an intense muscle bro, walks into the shot wearing a sleeveless gym T-shirt.

DAN
(shouting)
Bro! do you wanna eat healthy?!  Do you
want to stay ripped?!  Then get on down to
to the Broduce Junction! Be healthy! Stay
jacked!

Dan jumps over to a display of melons.

DAN
You like cantaloupes?! Of course you
don’t! Too much sugar! That’s why
at Broduce Junction we— (smashes
melon with fist) Uhhn!!

BRIEF MONTAGE of Dan destroying melons.

DAN
Fuck melons!

ANGLE ON VEGETABLES

This is a display of vegetables.

DAN
We also have many other healthy
vegetables! But NO VEGANS allowed!
Stay home, pussies!

FOLLOW DAN AS HE WALKS NEXT DOOR

DAN
What? You need more protein in your
diet? Not to worry! Broduce Junction
has a place right next door! It’s
called the Brotein Mart! It’s full of
good Brotein!

ANGLE ON VARIOUS MEATS

DAN
We got steaks, pork chops, ground beef,
ground chuck— Lots of meat, bro! You
need meat! We give you meat! We give
all our bros the meat they need! Sound
gay? It’s totally not! And we have—

ANGLE ON DAN

A bad SPECIAL EFFECT makes his eyes glow.

DAN
(bad echo)
No steroids!

ANGLE ON VEGETABLES

DAN
…in the meat! But we did put
steroids in the vegetables.

A BRIEF SERIES OF SHOTS showing vegetables looking very muscular.

DAN
Think how jacked you’ll be when you put
this in your body! It’s science, bro!

ANGLE ON DAN AND BOTH STORES

DAN
Be healthy! Stay jacked! Get on down
to the Broduce Junction and Brotein Mart!
Off Route 80 in South Hackensack, New Jersey!
Get down here like I got down on your mother!
It’s quick and easy and totally not gay!