Your Game of Thrones Fratoscope
on May 19, 2019 at 2:23 am
If your birthday is this week: Your fan theory that Jon Wick gets the Iron Throne turns out to be wrong.
Aries: Your petition to have Game of Thrones remade with character names that are easier to remember gets ten million signatures.
Taurus: Your fan fiction involving Jon Snow becoming a Jedi receives mixed reviews.
Gemini: Your friends throw you out of the Game of Thrones watching party because you won’t stop asking, “Where’s Frodo?”
Lemini: Turns out the little person in your trunk is not Peter Dinklage and hasn’t even been watching Game of Thrones.
Cancer: Your cable TV provider demands a $500 payment for the last GoT episode and you have no choice but to pay.
Leo: The dragon you invite to your GoT party keeps muttering “that’s not how it works” throughout the episode.
Virgo: No one appreciates your Dothraki subtitles during the final episode.
Libra: You will lose $4000 betting on Hodor to be seated on the Iron Throne.
Scorpio: Your GoT style orgy goes forward as planned and everyone sits on the iron dildo.
Sagittarius: A group of GoT fans break into your house so they can watch the last episode, they only decide to rob you after you ask, “Is this supposed to be Dungeons & Dragons”?
Capricorn: Your replica Iron Throne does not fit in the recycle bin and Monday’s trash guys won’t pick it up.
Aquarius: During the credits of GoT, Kit Harrington pets the wolf and shouts, “Here?! Are you happy?!”
Pisces: Your videos complaining about nerds get a bunch of hits.
