Super Frat

Oceans is a documentary about the oceans. Pierce Brosnan narrates. Now, if you go see this thing on a giant screen or IMAX, I could see it being the kind of thing that might be worth it. The cinematography is pretty breathtaking. The narration does fall short. It’s not Pierce’s fault though.

Rather than give us the usual facts about the animals we’re seeing, the director goes for some kind of arty “this is your ocean” thing. Thanks. I already know the oceans are polluted. We all know the oceans are endangered. That’s why I put out more recyclables than I do trash these days. I don’t just want to see sharks eating sea lions, I want to know how many they eat in a day. Tell me an interesting fact about sea urchins or sea turtles. Something. Stop telling me how majestic it all is. I can SEE that.

Not that we endorse drug use at the Super Frat site, but if I did get high, I would want to be totally baked for this movie. There’s some freaky sealife and awesome colors. Still, even at an hour and twenty four minutes, it felt kinda long. I give it a 4 out of ten keggers, maybe 5 if I was drunk.