Who Should Eat a Dick
on September 3, 2009 at 11:18 am
with Chris Moreno
Every Thursday, Chris Moreno lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.
You’re in for a treat, Dick-eat-o-maniacs (I’m trying to figure out a name for you, the readers… It’s a work in progress)! It’s a tag team Who Should Eat a Dick week! Now it’s my turn.
— Scott Thomas Zeilinski, the Michigan man who was shot while robbing a store at knifepoint, and then turned around and sued the store, should eat a dick, since he narrowly dodged eating a bullet.
— New Jersey representin’ once again! Colts Neck High School teacher, Megan Laboy, was charged with accepting cash from her students in return for extra credit to improve grades. Her punishment: she has to stay after class and write 100 times on the blackboard: “I will not extort money from my students” with a dick in her mouth.
— The Bank of America branch in Tampa, Florida that denied cashing a check for a man with no arms because he couldn’t provide a thumbprint should accept my deposit… of a big ol’ dick. I’d be willing to open an account for that.
— World’s Worst Date– Terrance Dejuan McCoy, the man who skipped out on his lady-friend’s bill AND stole her car, should enjoy an all-you-can-eat buffet of dick, compliments of Buffalo Wild Wings, the establishment at which this terrible event took place. (Note: dick is not part of Buffalo Wild Wings’ usual menu)
— It’s a “reply all” dick-eating on this one. One dick for Vicki Walker, an employee at ProCare Health in New Zealand, for her habit of sending emails in red, bold, and all caps fonts— and another dick for ProCare Health for firing her for it. You’re both getting sent emails with a red, bold, and all caps dick attached.
Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board.
