Super Frat

Hello, bros.  Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.

Today’s contestant is one of my favorites, Nick Frost of Sean of the Dead fame.  And if you haven’t seen Sean of the Dead, you’re really missing out.  Let’s see what the old zombie has to tweet.

October 26th, 2:30am:  “Morning all!”

That’s 7:30am English time, bros.  You get up early, Nick.

October 26th, 2:46am: “I have a chimney sweep coming round today to sweep our chimneys. I’ll be able to have a crackiling fire in the heath this night.”

Nice.  Now do they sing a song before and after they clean your chimney?

October 26th, 2:46am: “Hearth”

That’s a fireplace in American.

October 26th, 2:53am: “Did everyone have a nice weekend?”

Nice of you to ask.  (English people, so polite.)  I cleaned my gutters and ate a lot of chocolate.  This way, I’ll be fat and dry.

October 26th, 3:34am: “it’s a lovely morning… on the island.”

We hope you enjoy your stay, Number 6.

October 26th, 3:35am: “I’m off to have porridge with lincoln 6 echo.”

*google-google-google*  Oh, that Island.  Put Lincoln 6 Echo in one of your movies, Nick.  He deserves to be in something better than those God-awful Star Wars prequel.  (Although he was good in it.)

October 26th, 9:49am: “There will be NO fire in the hearth this night. The sweep discovered a crack in the lining. Smoke billowed into next doors’ front room. Boo!”

Did they sing you a sad chimney sweep song then?

October 27th, 4:08am: “In town in the office. Let’s go!!!”

That’s the spirit!  You have to admire someone that loves their work.  Be the best zombie you can be, Nick!

October 27th, 4:18am: “Today; Meeting with Joe Cornish, costume fitting, then home to wait for mobile knife sharpeners. ROCK AND ROLL!!!”

Wait are you excited about being Antman in a movie or your knives?

October 27th, 6:36am:  “I love Joe Cornish.”

Well, his hens are good, but they could be bigger.

October 27th, 7:03am: “Can i just say I love Adam Buxton too but I just had a meeting with Joe so he was the headline of last tweet. That is all.”

No, no, clearly Joe Cornish was the star of the last tweet.  Now you’re just backpedaling.

October 27th, 10:59am: “I just got the knives back. They’re so sharp they can now cut other knives. Amazing. Thanks Grinder man.”

Grinder man?  You English have a guy for everything.  Do they sing songs too?

October 27th, 4:54am: “That was a lovely cup of tea. Seriously. Gulpin’ tea.”

We have tea in America.  We call it “coffee”.

October 28th, 2:17am: “I love that my cat comes to work with me. She’s sitting on the desk right now playing with a pencil… Bless.”

If she’s working on the sequel to Sean of the Dead, tell her to hurry please.

October 28th, 4:28am: “Listening to the Adam and Joe podcasts on BBC6. Great! So Funny.”

Cool.  Here’s the link.

October 28th, 9:44am: “I’m at the beeb, they have NO ham. Also met Les Dennis, I was very happy to meet him, he seemed afraid and distant.”

No ham?  It’s an outrage.  I know how to get free ham.

October 28th, 5:34pm: “Night all, I’m going to hit the hay. (Please, no jokes about punching hay.)”

A bale of hay walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some “quackers”.  Bartender says they don’t serve bales of hay, so it leaves.  The next day, the bale of hay comes back to the bar, asks the bartender for some “quackers”.  The bartender says, “Dammit, I told you we don’t serve bales of hay”.  Bale of hay leaves.  Next day, the bale of hay returns and asks the bartender, “Can I have some quackers?”   Bartender says, “No!  And if you ask me again, I’m going to set you on fire!”  Bale of hay leaves.  Next day, the bale of hay comes back and asks the bartender, “Do you have any matches?’  The bartender says, “No.”  The bale of hay says, “Good, can I have some quackers?”  The bartender punches the bale of hay.

October 28th, 3:24am: “Just got my copy of football manager 2010 – Thanks to Miles at Sports interactive. Here goes. See you in a month.”

Soccer, Nick.  It’s called soccer.

October 29th, 2:50pm: “Is it night already? I didn’t notice.”

I was the same way with “Left 4 Dead”.  The sequel is out on November 17th.

October 29th, 3:36am: “Me and the wife can’t wait for the new series of ‘the Restaurent’ BBC 2. 8 o’clock. (9 laketime.)”

Two couples compete to run a restaurant, eh?  In America, we’ll soon have TV shows where people fight to the death over jobs or cans of food.  Should be ratings winner.

October 29th, 5:17pm: “These people on the Restaurant are pretty delusional, what are they thinking?”

I can’t believe I’m typing this, but it’s a TV show, Nick!  Reality TV is more fixed than professional wrestling or reality TV professional wrestling.

October 29th, 5:40pm: “The cheaper paints and brushes represented better value for Monet.”

Yeah, but that cheap bastard shafted me on this “Houses of Parliament” painting.  I wanted the castle from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  He said this was “easier.”

October 29th, 5:41pm: “I’m not sure the Monet thing worked.”

Ya see?  I’m not the only one.

October 29th, 5:51pm: “I went to see the Mona Lisa once, it was alright. Shit Frame.”

Hey!  Leonardo was busy designing tanks and drawing some dude’s junk.  He didn’t have time to get all “fancy” with the frames.

October 30th, 3:43am: “I’m in the Turks head having a beer. Nice. It’s been a long time.”

This place?  Looks nice.  But so help them if they don’t have ham!

7 hours ago: “Still playing football manager. I need to eat. The room stinks. Wrappers and human faeces everywhere. Is it day?”

Nick, rookie mistake.  You’ve got to stock up on supplies and game in a well ventilated space when you get a game like this.  And where’s your bucket?  Come on, now.  Don’t make the same mistake I did with Grand Theft Auto IV and just shit on the couch.  You’ll never quite get the smell out.

Okay, let’s rate Nick’s tweets.  Nick’s tweets seem very genuine and honest, although this is not a verified account, there were tweets from Simon Pegg and Dog the Bounty Hunter.  (Now that would be a funny guest appearance.)  I give Nick a 7 for Mustness, a 7 for Style and a 9 for Insanity (don’t let the fans figure out where you drink, Nick).  That’s an overall score of 7.4.  Let’s just say 8 for the sake of argument.  Not bad.  And hopefully, if you follow, you’ll get the inside scoop on some of Nick’s movies or where he gets his ham.

That’s all for TIF this week.  If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.