Hey bros,

It’s the first appearance of Dick Masterson, Chauvinist Detective.  For more of Dick’s wacky antics, visit www.menarebetterthanwomen.com!

Count Steve and a certain Gamma douche got a mention in the RUNewser in the back.  Why would they interview a Goth for this?

The news has been updated at our message board bros.  In honor of our crossover with Dick Masterson, look for two strip updates this week and other updates.  And with the economy going to Hell, isn’t it about time you bought a Super Frat shirt so you have something cool to wear when you’re evicted?

Hey, bros.  Here are a few mentions from the Ryesmore campus.  To see all the news clips, visit our Facebook page.

translated by Mr. Shit

transcribed by Tony DiGerolamo

And now it’s time for that prickly purveyor of wisdom…

The king of the Caryophyllales-Cactaceae…

Ladies and gentlemon’, the great Señor Cactus!

Virgin in Virginia:

Dear Señor Cactus:

I’m a virgin, but I don’t want to be.  Unlike a lot of girls, I want my first time to be with someone I barely know.  I figured it would be bad, so I’d rather it be with a stranger.  Plus the idea is kind of dirty and it turns me on.  What do you think?

Collette, 19, Manassas, VA

Dear Future Porn Star:

Cactus say, your letter give him a prickly boner.  Have ya ever tried cross species pollination?  Mistah Shit is practically a stranger!  Keep me on da list!  Or, if ya like, ya can do it like this girl did! 

Death to the DMV:

Señor Cactus:

The people at the DMV drive me nuts!  What the fuck’s their problem?  Are they all fat losers that are just miserable?!

Darryl, 18, Atlanta, GA

Dear Not-getting-a-license-today:

Cactus say, laugh!  “Drive you nuts”!  That’s funny, mon’!  Get it?  But seriously, da DMV have a rigid screening process.  Like da TSA in da airport or meter maids or people dat work for da government.  First, ya must be able ta fog a mirror, den ya gots to enjoy ruinin’ someone’s day and third, you gotta be able ta piss off idiots!  Mission accomplished!

Gaydar Down:

Hey, Señor Cactus:

There’s this really hot guy in my English class.  He says he’s gay, but I’ve seen him hang out with girls.  Plus, he doesn’t act gay.  How can I be sure he’s not?

Jenni, 20, U of Del.

Dear Homo-Neurotic:

Cactus say, what sort of cryin’ game ya try ta pull?  If he gay, he gay, mon’!  What straight mon’ you know gonna lie about bein’ gay?  Even if you da ugliest beast on da campus, any mon’ will bone ya if he get drunk enough!  Besides, dem gay guys love da ladies!  Who else dey gonna watch da HGTV wit?  Here a simple test, if your mon’ had ta click on da link for HGTV to know what it stand for, he not gay.

Moneyless in Mantua:

O, Señor Cactus:

My roommate owes me $67 and he hasn’t paid.  First he said he wanted to pay cash, then a check and now he’s back to cash.  He’s ducking me everyday now and it’s totally retarded.  I think he climbed out a bathroom window to avoid me.  How do I resolve this?

Ben, 22, Stockton College in the NJ

Dear Moneyless:

Cactus say, ya missin’ da greatest opportunity ever!  Ya may not get yer money back, but ya can get $67 worth of entertainment!  First, recruit some of yer mutual friends for da prank.  Have dem spread da word dat you’re really mad about da money.  Next, have one of yer friends make it look like ya beat him pretty good.  (Pretend like he owed him only $20 or sometin!)  Ya can find places to do fake make up here.   Den, all ya gots ta do is interrupt him in da worst times!  When he takin’ a shower or a shit!  Watch him scramble through da window without his pants!  When he makin’ out wit his girl!  Watch him flee like a pussy!  Videotape for bonus!

Los Angeles, CA:  Super Frat, the first super-powered, fraternity webcomic has announced a crossover with professional chauvinist, Dick Masterson, author of Men are Better Than Women.

            “The story was inspired by Dick’s recent visit to Ryesmore University,” says Lambda Sigma Rho biographer, Tony DiGerolamo.  “The boys had lost a keg of beer and Dick helped them find it, so we decided to do a detective story.  Turns out the keg rolled into a local sorority’s shower.  Took forever to get it out.”

            Using his chauvinist detective powers, Dick Masterson helps Super Frat when they are framed for a campus prank.

            “Young men today need a role model that understands the inferiority of women,” said Masterson.  “As that role model, I travel from town to town spreading my vision of a Utopia where men can watch football in peace, the ‘friend zone’ is a thing of the past, and the highest career aspiration any woman can achieve is as a headlining stripper.”

            The Super Frat/Dick Masterson Crossover begins in October.  Visit Super Frat at www.superfrat.com and visit Dick Masterson at www.menarebetterthanwomen.com.

CONTACT

Tony DiGerolamo                                                         Dick Masterson

Marketing Director at Silent Devil                                 dickmasterson@gmail.com

imfix@comcast.net

Hey Bros:

You may be wondering, “Tony, why such a long wait for the Dragon Con post?” Well, bros, if you’ve ever been to Dragon Con, you’d understand that much like a Lambda Sigma Rho kegger, you need about three days to fully recover from it.

From left to right: Sean McManus of the Last Sin of Mark Grimm fame. (I’m sorry, I forget her name. I’m a terrible human being.) Myself, 2nd assistant pledgemaster sporting the colors and screaming for no reason. Lauren, editor at Space Dog and Chris Moreno’s main squeeze. Mary (below). Eric, who is a Top Cow artist. And finally, my main squeeze, La. (Hey, baby.)

This is the Guest Lounge at Dragon Con which is full of snacks and booze. Brother Hollywood and I once spent almost the entire Dragon Con in this room. It’s awesome.

Here’s Brother Hollywood with me and La at Trader Vic’s. We had Mai Tais and bananas foster. Good food there in the basement of the Hilton. Brother Hollywood is taking a picture to email to Brother Thunderdick back in LA. Like us, he rocks the food. We spent much of our time at the table selling Super Frat and helping our friends at Minions of Ka. Chris Moreno did the artwork on it.

This dude had a wicked cool tattoo of Death from Brother Hollywood’s published comic, Death Comes to Dillinger.

The new brother pics for Dragon Con are posted here. All in all, it was a rock solid Dragon Con. Wish I had more pics, but you can check them out on the Dragon Con homepage here.

Yo, bros!

The latest here in the frat house are the Super Frat keychains!  Hand painted!  Only $8 or $12 (plus S&H for either) with your brother name on the back!

People have email me and asked, “Tony, why did you go to Montreal and what’s it like?” Well, I went there to discuss a screenplay I wrote with my producer/actor friend. Montreal and Quebec are kind of like Western Pennsylvania in French.

All the signs are French, so the stores have strange names like “Couche Tard”. I assumed that meant it sold couches made by retarded people, but it turned out that it meant “Sleep Late” in French and the store was the all nite mini-mart. I learned a little French so I could ask for the important things “tae glasse son sucrave sivouplay” “iced tea unsweetened please”. Alas, like the south, they only had the sugary kind. However, most people seemed to speak English and the rude French stereotype did not seem to pan out.

I guess it’s because Canada is so small. Even the major cities don’t seem that scary. On the street, I was checking out this girl who walked by while I was standing around with two associates. Out of the blue, a total stranger who happened to be walking by chimed in with “She’s nice, huh?” Like he was a friend of ours sharing a joke.

People get shot more often since I last visited Toronto to the west. The news said three people got shot when I was there. No one died and no one else got shot while I was up there. Our money is equal to Canada’s now, so the exchange rate really wasn’t much of a problem. (Actually, US dollars are a little ahead, but it wasn’t worth changing out my money for a few cents.)

I saw one of the highest grossing Canadian movies while I was there. It was called “Bon Cop, Bad Cop”. It’s about a cop from French Quebec teaming up with a White bread English cop from Toronto to solve a murder that happens on their border. It also ties in with hockey. It was a little too inside and the French jokes didn’t translate. Also, I know little of hockey. Still, it was pretty watchable, even if the buddy-cop formula is a little tiring.

I also met Bernie Haim, Corey Haim’s dad. Nice guy. I wouldn’t want to print anything he said about his son here because he’s very protective of him and some of the stuff he shared was pretty personal. But he did mention he’ll be on the Two Corey’s in an upcoming episode and it sounds like Corey is getting his career back on track. I’ll have to check that show out. Apparently, it’s the thing to watch if you’re in L.A.

Anyhow, without giving away too much, the trip to Montreal was a great success and I learned a lot about making low budget movies. I’ll be tweaking my screenplay this week, while my partner writes up a business plan. We’re hoping to get financing for next year. Keep your fingers crossed bros!

This was another pin up I got at Chicago. This one is done by Primo! He also had a most awesome Adam West Batman with the caption “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb!”  Tony D is off to Montreal Canada this week to free Quebec or close a movie deal: whichever is easier.  The strip may be a little late this week.