Don’t get me wrong, I love the Who. Back in the day, they were wild men and I love their music. But last Sunday’s Super Bowl Half Time show was not very Who-like. If you have 50% or less of your original bad members dead, I think it’s time to call yourself something else. Even Aerosmith and U2 at the Super Bowl were pretty played. Why can’t the geezers that run the Super Bowl pick someone like:
10: Lady Gaga
The only Lady Gaga I’ve heard is stuff they talked about on South Park. But she’s current and popular. Why not her? At least she’s hot.
Okay, so maybe Lady Gaga is a little too nuts and likely to flash more than her boob during the show, but Taylor Swift? You can’t get any more safe than her. Again, not my music, but she’s pretty cute.
8. T-Pain
T-pain was sort of in the Super Bowl anyway because of that Bud Light commercial. That right there shows you that marketing guys already know his appeal. Again, he’s very current, why not have him perform. It’s kinda slow for me, but who cares? It’s about the football anyway.
7. Britney Spears
Even Britney Spears is getting not so current, but again, think of the audience. It’s mostly guys. And Britney is back in shape.
6. Cage the Elephant
Now if you wanted to hire some guys to actually rock the house, you need young guys. Cage the Elephant fuckin’ rocks. They’ll probably ask these guys during the Super Bowl of 2048.
5. 50 Cent
They’ll probably never ask this guy to play the Super Bowl, but guess what? He is international in a big way.
4. Clutch
These guys rock and a Southern vibe doesn’t hurt either. Sounds like the music they’ll be playing during the commercial segs anyway.
3. Iggy and the Stooges
I saw Iggy and the Stooges on their last tour and let me tell you something, that old man can rock. This picture is from that recent tour. If you need someone who is old and still has it, Iggy is it. Amazing live show.
2. Rhianna
She’s smokin’ hot and she dates an athlete. C’mon.
Hey, there’s nothing safer than something that jumps the shark and gangsta rap is definitely there with this video. People would’ve laughed. Something for everyone. Think about it for next year Super Bowl.
If your birthday is this week: East Coasters, you’ll be shoveling snow until your back is full of pain, your hands are raw and there is snow in your shows. You will feel cold and pissed off for the rest of the week. West Coasters, you’ll get a chill for a moment, but decide against putting on slightly longer shorts.
Aries: Make plans to go see a big event or get together with friends. At least if you practice, maybe someday you’ll have friends and big event to attend one day.
Taurus: Microwaving a glass bottle of soda sounds hilarious and is on YouTube, but when you do it, it causes $2000 worth of damage to the dorm kitchen. Maybe videotaping yourself antiquing your roommate is more your speed.
Gemini: You will get pwned on Xbox live in GTA. That little blue dot speeding toward you on GTA4 should not be ignored.
Lemini: You will forget and turn on the light in you room when you roommate is having sex with his girlfriend. You’ll get to see her tits. Nice!
Cancer: You’ll sneak out a fart in church and shit your pants. Although God forgives you, the grief stricken family that invited you to that funeral won’t.
Leo: Speak less and listen more, Leo. Most people you meet are smarter than you anyway.
Virgo: Cheech Marin will steal your shopping cart in the supermarket Thursday. If its any consolation, all that Cheese Whiz you bought gives him gas.
Libra: Don’t play the lottery this week. You’ll win, drop out of college, bang strippers and starlets, buy a casino, travel the world, meet celebrities and end up as a judge on Iron Chef. The Iron Chef’s main ingredient is brussel sprouts. Ugh!
Scorpio: Your dog will catch you masturbating. At first you’ll be embarrassed, but then you’ll get over it. For weeks after, every time your dog meets another dog, you’ll swear they’re laughing at you.
Sagittarius: You’re gonna watch a TV show that you almost never watch and have only seen one episode of. It will be the same exact episode.
Capricorn: Capricorn, you’ll get caught cheating on your boyfriend this week. Maybe MTV’s the Jersey Shore isn’t the best place to pick up a guy on the sly.
Aquarius: The stars say, travel by water is in your future. This might be a good time to book a cruise or pay back that mobster.
Pisces: You’re going to fail Economics, Pisces. Maybe you’re proposed business model should’ve been something other than “selling crack and poppin’ caps”.
