Your Weekend Links: July 3, 2009
July 3rd, 2009
Hey bros:
Fourth of July weekend is upon and you know what that means.
Yes, fireworks. Those awesome explosiony things that deliver so much excitement and take away so many fingers. Remember, there’s no shame in using a torch (a very long torch) to light the fuse. You don’t get extra points for being there up until the explosion.
Look at me preaching safety. Perhaps I did learn something after that fateful day when the Roman candle I set off fired into the entire bag of fireworks I was setting up to light. Well, I didn’t have to light them after that. Still it doesn’t make THIS any less funnier.
But what is this holiday really all about?
That’s right, patriotism. Not every country has the freedom we do.
See? We have the liberty to enjoy unfettered knockers. Liberty is important, bros and important to remember. Unless, of course, you’re married and you’re the governor of South Carolina. Oh, boy, that will be comfortable. About as comfortable as watching ghoul-fest over Michael Jackson corpse. Jeez, this isn’t nearly as fun as the James Brown funeral.
So depressing all this death, bros. Even July 4th acknowledges death. Oh, yeah, still two wars going on and the shit’s only going to get worse. Explosions would be a good distraction here, because they don’t happen every day like other places. But then there’s the food!
Aw, yeah. Food makes the pain go away. Nothing better than bloated feeling after the brimstone has died away. So enjoy that red, white and blue food, bros. Like Shamrock shakes, they only come once a year. Plus Memorial Day. This is going to be a good, Fourth, bros. I can feel it. Our fellow patriots Mr. Nova and Dick Masteron, they can feel it too. Super Frat Facebook bros are way up thanks to you, so do something nice for yourself this holiday. All I can do, is post chicks kissing.
Rock the weekend, bros.
