With the impending release of Captain Marvel, we’re looking at how to write female characters. Don’t just write a male character and call the character female. Don’t sacrifice a character’s femaleness just to move the story forward.
If your birthday is this week: Everyone sings happy birthday to you at your party, but then again, the people in the drunk tank with you have no place else to go.
Aries: A homeless guy will look you up and down and hand you your dollar back.
Taurus: Although your firework display will be noticed, the old folks home says it was inappropriate to light it inside.
Gemini: Your bartender will spend all night complaining about you.
Lemini: Your stalker leaves you for someone else on Tinder.
Cancer: Your Intervention goes well and they finally get you to stop watching the Big Bang Theory.
Leo: Your neighborhood watch refuses to let you join because mostly, they just spend time following you.
Virgo: You’ll run into your old shop teacher and he will demand to know why you still have all your fingers.
Libra: Your rhythmic fart videos on YouTube will get a copyright strike from Metallica.
Scorpio: You’ll receive a surprise happy ending and it will be the best trip to the library ever.
Sagittarius: You’ll realize that a supermarket check out line is an appropriate place for a make out session with the cashier.
Capricorn: The stars say, sticking your genitals in anything the appliance store sells is a bad idea.
Aquarius: You find romance at an ice cream truck, but then realize that dating a Rocket Pop won’t work.
Pisces: You’ll get laid at the comic book convention, but then realize there’s no one in the furry costume you’re humping.
