Airline Passengers to Remain More Sober
Racist Wife Can’t I.D. Own Hubby
Airline Passengers to Remain More Sober
Racist Wife Can’t I.D. Own Hubby
Restaurant: Tessara Restaurant
Address: Hamilton, NJ
Food: Mostly Italian
Price: Above Average
Portions: Big!
Taste: Excellent
Service: Excellent
Atmosphere: Very Good
Tessara Restaurant is located in Hamilton or Robbinsville, NJ, I think. It was a pretty far trek for me, anyway.
The family was looking for a good place to celebrate a couple of birthdays and this place fit the bill. Plenty of room, lots of tables, bar and a huge menu.
I had the Steak Au Proive, because I saw it on Archer once. It was pretty good. Instead of potatoes, I asked for fries and they had the coated kind, which I hate. The bread for the table was pretty fabulous. It was so good, my father and brother had to get it’s origins so they could track down the place and get some from the source. (Italians, we have a high bar for bread.)
So based on the bread alone, you should go to this place. It is a little pricey, but pretty delicious. I had a bit of this seafood thing in a vodka sauce. I had almost ordered it, but I felt it was going to be too heavy. I love that sauce, but it’s too much sometimes.
The waiter was excellent. Overall, a very solid eating experience.
I give the Tessara restaurant 8 out of 10 keggers.
Restaurant: The Stratford Diner
Address:19 S White Horse Pike, Stratford, New Jersey 08084
Food: Diner
Price: Good
Portions: Solid
Taste: Good
Service: Good
Atmosphere: Average
The Stratford Diner was once the local Denny’s, but was taken over by locals after the Denny’s closed. Thank God for that! Although the layout is very Denny’s, the interior has been redesigned to be a normal Jersey diner.
The menu is pretty standard. Breakfast served 24/7, club sandwiches, local entrees— I’m partial to the Gyro. For a while, their fries were not great, but now they’ve added the choice of steak fries. They are delicious. Order them. Salads are hit or miss, but for the most part, my decent, go-to diner option in the area.
It’s close, the food is good, the staff is friendly. The bathroom is a little pungent, but other than that, visit the Stratford Diner. It’s the perfectly place to grab a bite when it’s two in the morning and you’ve got nothing else to do but stuff your face. (Say hi to George, the manager for me.)
I give the Stratford Diner 7 out of 10 keggers.
If your birthday is this week: The horrible misspellings on your birthday cake ruin the party for your Grammar Nazi friends.
Aries: Facebook offers to pay you if you’ll stop posting your bullshit political opinions.
Taurus: You will accidentally fund a Communist revolution.
Gemini: You realize Wal Mart doesn’t sell quality cognac.
Lemini: Flashing the ticket guy doesn’t get the free movie tickets you were expecting and the cop that arrests you is just as surprised as you are.
Cancer: You’ll get a surprise back rub from a stranger on a bus, but you’re the one that makes it weird.
Leo: The ghost of John Wayne borrows your car to run some errands.
Virgo: You’ll realize that your spaghetti sauce is mostly just a pile of tomatoes and that you have no idea how to make spaghetti sauce.
Libra: Turns out, that webcam girl would have dated you if only you had paid her Cable TV bill.
Scorpio: Someone forgets to tip the lube guy at your orgy.
Sagittarius: You’ll spend six hours defending Star Wars movies until you realize that talking to anyone over the Internet is a complete waste of time.
Capricorn: You assemble what you thought was an IKEA table and realize that you bought a vintage hot rod by mistake.
Aquarius: Your vape store opens and closes within the same week.
Pisces: With all the Tinder swiping, you injure your wrist and are unable to masturbate for days.
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