Jun30

Rewritten Headlines: Fiery Bacon to Severed Toe

by tonyd on June 30, 2017 at 12:01 am

Texas Highway Smells Like Bacon

War We Already Won Almost Won Again, But Probably Won’t Be

Fisherman Survives—  Holy Shit!

Darwin Award Gets YouTube Channel

Cops Can’t Bald Guy a Break

We’re All Gonna Live Forever

Former Actor Found in Trash

Idiots Forget Bank Card

Study Confirms What We Already Know

Gross Ingredient Stolen

└ Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: Fiery Bacon to Severed Toe
Jun28

Twitter in Focus: Steve-O

by tonyd on June 28, 2017 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant has come close to death many times, I’m sure, Steve-O!  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@Steve-O

May 29th:  “Caption this photo, please!”

Steve-O right before he let a crab pinch is scrotum.

May 31st:  “Surfing my fuckin balls off in the !”

The Philippines water looks pretty clean.

May 31st:  “OXNARD, CA!!! Come see me at Levity Live, I’m headlining June 8-11, free meet and greet after every show. Info at”

Sounds cool.

May 31st:  “Another fun surf shot from the !”

That does look very tropical.  Why the shirt, I’m wondering?  Did Steve-O gain weight?

June 4th:  “Headed home with a bitchin ass tan! Thank you for a great time! Oxnard, CA– I’ll see you at Levity Live this Thurs-Sun!”

Nice to see someone spend that Jackass money on something other than a trip to the hospital.

June 5th:  “The great came to hang out with me today!”

Preston looks like someone’s dad now.

June 19th: “My online store at has run flawlessly, and it’s all thanks to — thanks so much for everything, dudes!”

Steve-O has his own sunglasses.  That’s pretty cool.

Okay, let’s rate Steve-O’s tweets.  I give him a 7 for Style, an 8 for Mustness and a 10 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.3.  Follow Steve-O.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

 

 

 

└ Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Steve-O
Jun26

Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Peanut Chicken Bahn Mi

by tonyd on June 26, 2017 at 12:01 am

Ingredients:  Bottle of Thai Peanut Sauce, four breasts of chicken, garlic powder, Kosher salt, cilantro, horseradish pickles, red onion, rye bread, case of beer, one Red Bull and Vodka, one line of cocaine

Step 1:  Drink most of a case of beer.

Step 2:  See Bahn Mi sandwich on TV, decide to make one.

Step 3:  Look up recipe on Internet, realize that’s too much work.

Step 4:  Forget that you forgot and take bus to supermarket.

Step 5:  Bump into drug dealer outside supermarket.  Hit him up for some weed.

Step 6:  When he realizes he has no weed, do a line of coke with him.

Step 7:  Go into supermarket, buy ingredients in under two minutes, rush to bus stop.

Step 8:  Get back on bus, get off at local bar.

Step 9:  Get a Vodka and Red Bull, drink it and realize you have no more money.

Step 10:  Throw ingredients at bouncer, run back to campus.*

Step 11:  Finish case of beer.  Pass out in stairwell.

Step 12:  Wake up with supermarket receipt with no concept why.

*I actually made peanut chicken on the grill, then put it on a slice of rye with the pickles and onions because I didn’t have the ingredients for a Bahn Mi.  It was pretty good!

└ Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments Off on Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Peanut Chicken Bahn Mi
Jun25

Your Fratoscope: June 25, 2017

by tonyd on June 25, 2017 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  You’ll be frozen to be thawed out on your next birthday so no one has to hear you bitch for a year.

Aries:  You’ll win a corncob pipe in a Popeye contest because of your swollen forearms.

Taurus:  The stars say, expired mayo will be the key to getting out of that picnic with your girlfriend.

Gemini:  Donald Trump will ask you to pretend to be president for the next six weeks so he can go to guitar camp.

Lemini:  It’s your friend’s birthday this week, so you’ll freeze him in a block of ice and go to jail for murder.

Cancer:  You will make some macaroons in your sleep, but you’ll only be able to eat them in your dreams.

Leo:  You’ll hit on 17 because 16 would be statutory rape in your state.

Virgo:  Rather than attempt to remove your Hillary bumper stickers, you just push your car into a ravine.

Libra:  Some moon men will bring you cheese, but they’ll actually be meth dealers and they’ll actually bring you a charcuterie platter full of meth.

Scorpio:  You’ll enjoy a sensual bike ride and then a sensual stay in the local jail for indecent exposure.

Sagittarius:  This week, hurry the fuck up.

Capricorn:  You’ll have dim sum by yourself, but eat it like you were five people.

Aquarius:  You write an embarrassing rap song about pie.

Pisces:  Your post online goes viral, meaning that it makes everyone sick.

└ Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comments Off on Your Fratoscope: June 25, 2017