Jul17

Calling All Bros!

by tonyd on July 17, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Hey Bros!

It’s time to up our game.  So over at the Webcomic Factory we’ve created the Super Team.  The Super Team rewards you for spreading our links around the Internet universe.

Get linkin’ bros.  Click Super Team to find out the details.

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Jul17

Twitter in Focus: Aaron Blitzstein, Adult Swim Writer

by tonyd on July 17, 2013 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is Aaron Blitzstein, writer of Adult Swim, Family Guy and Letterman.  I’m already jealous of his career.  Let’s see if his tweets will also make me jealous.

@BlitznBeans

Already Aaron scores a bunch of Insanity points for his America Psycho motif on his Twitter account.

July 14th:  “Good News: We can all say “NO!” to people who won’t shut up about Star Wars in the year 2013.”

Yes.  Thank you for saying it.  So God damned sick of it.

July 14th:  “Good News: Legally speaking, any time you see a baby wearing a Ramones t-shirt you can tell the parents they’re morons.”

Babies shouldn’t listen to the Ramones.  That’s not good baby music and the music videos will complete scare them.

July 14th:  “Good News: Somewhere, somehow, you can probably masturbate RIGHT NOW!!!”

Well, obviously.  Unless you’re piloting a dangerous vehicle or something.

July 14th:  “Good News: I will literally gift someone through iTunes a Clash song right now.”

Damn, all this craziness AND prizes.  You are really increasing your score, Aaron.

July 14th:  “Good News: You can fuck with a total stranger by yelling out from across the street, “How’s your horse??””

Wow, no wonder my rancher neighbors are always getting laid.

July 14th:  “Good News: Larry Sanders”

1998 good news is still good, technically.

July 14th:  “Good News: If you don’t own a pet you can still have a picture of Rick Moranis”

Shit, does that mean I have to thrown mine out because I have a dog?

July 14th:  “Good News: You probably don’t have one of those barbed wire tattoo things.”

But if you have hepatitis and banged the drummer from Motley Crue, then you probably do.

July 14th:  “Good News: Not only do you get Key, you also get Peele.”

That is good news.

July 14th:  “Good News: Seinfeld. Are you fucking kidding me? YOU CAN WATCH SEINFELD RIGHT NOW!!!!”

Too busy masturbating.

July 14th:  “Good News: You are alive. Go out and change things. Now.”

But I’m right in the middle of posting—  All right.  Dammit.

July 14th:  “Are you kidding me with this a-hole?? ”

Cats are assholes.

July 15th:  “Idiot, it’s called a virginia. : Woman grows penis-shaped strawberry.”

Typical liberal media.

July 15th:  “What part of a cow is the pizza?”

Depends.  Do you make the crust out of beef like I do?

4 hours ago:  “”PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK…” – Chris Berman the night before a vacation”

That is a sports joke I actually get.

1 hour ago:  “Andrew W.K. got old, you guys. ”

Aw, doggie.

Okay, let’s rate Aaron’s tweets.  I have to give him a 10 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 9.3, one of the highest in recent weeks.  Definitely follow Aaron.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

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Jul15

Movies You Missed: Ip Man

by tonyd on July 15, 2013 at 1:19 am

Based on the true life story of the man that taught Bruce Lee, Ip Man is one of the best martial arts movie I’ve seen in a long time.

Set during World War 2, Ip Man is a well known martial arts master in his province, but when the Japanese occupy China things go to Hell.  Ip Man is forced to fight for the amusement of a Japanese general.  Lead actor, Donnie Yen, plays the role with Zen-like confidence and his Bruce Lee-like movies are a wonder to watch.

The screenplay is also gripping, as Ip Man’s wife must deal with his martial arts fame and the fact that so many people are drawn to his great abilities.  This is part one of a trilogy and the third installment is about to hit theaters soon.  The first two parts are on Netflix and I cannot wait to watch the sequel.

Watch this kickass movie.  You’ll be glad you did.

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Jul14

Your Fratoscope: July 14, 2013

by tonyd on July 14, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  You will be indoctrinated by some hipsters into their cult, which they were into way before you.

Aries:  A sewer monster will borrow your car, drive to the city and return it undamaged, but with no gas.

Taurus:  Remember that 80’s movie where pouring a soda over your computer created a monster?  Well, that sorta happens, only no monster and you need a new computer.

Gemini:  The leprechauns that live in your lawn go on strike.

Lemini:  You’re very popular today, unfortunately will all the people fighting to get to give you the Heimlick maneuver, you choke.

Cancer:  The stars say, drive to the south point of town, flash your headlights and await instructions.

Leo:  Wedding bells are in your future.  Your friend is getting married and needs some place to store them until the wedding.

Virgo:  The valet will change all your radio stations.

Libra:  Your mailman will lecture you on why a hand written letter is “more personal” than an email.  You’ll become his pen pal to shut him up.

Scorpio:  Turns out, jalapeño flavored condoms burn the mouth and any place else you put them.

Sagittarius:  Your attempt at Tokyo drifting lands your car inside a tool shed, upside down.

Capricorn:  Your cellphone will die while you’re trying to get directions.  Maybe next time, play Fruit Ninja later.

Aquarius:  This week, brace yourself for a roller coaster ride at work!  Unless, you’re a carnie, in which case it’s pretty much work as usual.

Pisces:  Aliens land in your backyard, tell you to mow it and then take off.

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