May07

Tony’s Media Podcast 3

by tonyd on May 7, 2013 at 6:38 pm

The Media Podcast is back!

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May06

Fratty or Not Fratty with Pledgemaster Dick

by tonyd on May 6, 2013 at 12:01 am

Our pledgemaster may not have a clean pair of underwear, a major or very good personal hygiene, but he has a throne made of beer cans and he sits in judgement!

The Hangover 3:  Not Fratty

If the Hangover franchise was a restaurant franchise, those of us that saw the second one would all be hold up a coupon for a free meal.  See you on Netflix, Mr. Cooper.

The Waffle House:  Always Fratty

For our Southern bros, it’s the only way to eat when it’s 2am and you’re drunk.  What the fuck else is still open down south?

Cinco de Mayo:  Sorta Fratty

If this is an actual holiday for you, then yeah, it’s kinda fratty.  But if you’re just some white dude looking for an excuse to vomit up margaritas, no.

Biting a Dog:  Pretty Fratty

God damn, dude.  You gotta have balls to bite a dog.  I salute your cajones.

A Game of Thrones: God Damn Fratty

Boobies, sword fights and monsters.  This show should be on every day.

CNN’s Coverage of Teen Mom Porn Star:  Not Fratty

Okay, so you cover a story about a Teen Mom that’s become a porn star and look down on her, but you covered the story and sold commercials?  Fuck you, CNN or HLN or whatever three letters you call yourself.  That’s not even news.  It’s like you’re just telling us about a story and then sitting in judgement of it.  Oh, wait.

Teen Mom Porn Star:  Fratty

Hey, it’s a million fucking dollars.

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May05

Your Fratoscope: May 5, 2013

by tonyd on May 5, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  Your Wal-Mart themed birthday party is depressing, but incredibly cost-effective.

Aries:  The stars say, keep your racist grandmother away from P.A. systems this week.

Taurus:  Your Crackerjack prize will be a solid gold ring on a severed finger, only one of which you will report to the authorities.

Gemini:  A group of Vikings will loot your front lawn and take off with your bird bath.

Lemini:  Your baked Ziti will cause your fiance to leave you.

Cancer:  This week, watch out for co-workers’ suggestions because punching your boss in the nuts is funny, but ultimately bad for your career.

Leo:  Your girlfriend will dump you at the ice cream parlor, saving you a trip.

Virgo:  Oprah will stop by to use your bathroom.  She doesn’t flush.

Libra:  Your lawyer will advise you to plead guilty, but only because she actually committed the crime.

Scorpio:  Your pool party ends as it always does, with your pool cleaner running out of that stuff that gets semen out of your filter.

Sagittarius:  Your album will drop on Wednesday, right into a trashcan.

Capricorn:  You will discover that you are the “Before” in a commercial for handsome cream.

Aquarius:  The Ghost of Horoscope past will show you a much more accurate horoscope from almost three years ago.

Pisces:  You watch A Game of Thrones and it will be awesome again.

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May04

Ten Things You Shouldn’t Do in California Right Now

by tonyd on May 4, 2013 at 12:32 am

California is ablaze this week, bros.  So if you live there, turn on your sprinklers at full blast or get the Hell out.  And here’s ten things you probably shouldn’t be doing.

1.  TP a house

2.  Practice your fire juggling

3.  Take your gas canister for a walk

4.  Wear a suit made entirely out of fuses

5.  Open a life-sized, paper map of your state

6.  Leave the door to your firework shack open

7.  Air out your kindling collection

8.  Dispose of your old gunpowder by dumping it out back in the woods

9.  Take your paper mache float for a test drive

10.  Do a test run of your Burning Man, burning man

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