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Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. I can’t believe I’ve missed Bill Burr’s twitter all this time. If you haven’t heard his stand up, you should. It’s pretty brilliant. Let’s see if his tweets match up.
October 21st: “Fun With History: Which has happened more? The Jets winning a SB or that Fireman Ed actually fighting a fire? ”
Ouch. Poor Jets. Guess there’s no Daily Show appearance for you now, Bill.
October 21st: “@billburr What happened more, you ruining Chappelle Show and making him quit or Giants beating Pats in the SB? ”
October 21st: (Bill’s Reply) “Game on!”
You have disturbed the Burr. Brace yourself.
October 21st: “No words to describe how much I hate the Patriots Old School Uniform. Is Tony Eason starting? ”
I gotta keep this Twitter in mind when I write Sports Guys.
October 21st: “Nice punt by Steve Grogan.”
How did one of the Manson Family get into the NFL?
October 21st: “Here comes the Pats DBs…..DOH JEEZUZ!!!! ”
My wife loves the Pats. Probably because she lived in Boston.
October 21st: “Pats DBs will save Sanchez’s career. #2GamesAyear”
Wish I knew more about sports so I understood that hashtag.
October 21st: “All Brady has to do is give our D a good 49 pt cushion and I think we can win it regulation. ”
He really does need Peter as his center.
October 22nd: “the Monday Morning Podcast is up!! http://billburr.com/podcast/monday-morning-podcast-10-22-12 … http://fb.me/1NW6LYtCs”
Ha! So bitter. I love it.
October 22nd: “the Monday Morning Podcast is up!! http://billburr.com/podcast/monday-morning-podcast-10-22-12 …”
Bill sounds a lot like a friend of mine who talks the same way. Started listening and couldn’t stop until the end.
October 22nd: “”Armstrong has no place in cycling…but the cheaters who ratted him out do.” #6MonthSuspensions #FuckinJoke”
That’s how they get ya. Ratting out your friends.
15 hours ago: “I hope South Park does a Lance Armstrong episode.”
Oh, yeah. I think that’s a done deal.
2 hours ago: “I count 16 power shots to 1. I’m score it a 10/8 round for Not Ed Hardy Shirt. http://youtu.be/uj3DTajPJPk ”
I imagine this is the physical manifestation of Bill’s verbal attack.
I love Bill. So angry! Let’s rate his Twitter. I give him an 8 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 10 for Insanity. That’s a score of 9 overall, but fuck it, I give him a 10 because I can. Follow Bill and more importantly, see his stand up.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
Our pledgemaster may not have a major, a hope of graduating, clean underwear or a room that doesn’t smell like farts, but he does have a great sense of frat. Take heed! Your pledgemaster speaks!
Fratty: Season Three of The Walking Dead
Not sure which producer finally figured out that a zombie TV show should mostly center around killing zombie, but after two years, they figured it out! Yeah! Fratty!
Not Fratty: The Presidential Debates
The most boring fucking duel of all time. If they showed celebrity tits at the bottom of the screen the whole time, I still wouldn’t watch.
Probably Fratty: New James Bond
After the worst James Bond movie ever, word is the new one is most awesome. Don’t fuck with me on this movie people!
Kinda Not Fratty: Baseball
How many fucking times do I have to miss the Simpsons? There are sports channels for this shit!
Pretty Fratty: U.S. and Iran Agree to Peace Talks
It would be nice to avoid war with one country on this planet.
Not at All Fratty: Public Rampages
I’m not advocating suicide here, but if you’re going to take yourself out, please don’t take a bunch of innocent people with you. Or at least do something cool like fight crime and hunt serial killers until organized crime finally takes you out.
Kinda Fratty: Gourmet Hot Dog Places
Big surprise, fat guy likes food. But seriously, just spicing up the toppings or something is awesome. These gourmet sausages and toppings give me a food boner.
So Fratty: Chocolate Junior Tastykake
It’s the shit.
Not Fratty: George McGovern’s Death
It sucks.
Fratty: Poop Transplants
A medical miracle and a hilarious name.
If your birthday is this week: You will discover that you cannot train a seeing eye dog to spot just a C-cup or above.
Aries: Your delusional dog will climb atop his dog house and pretend that he’s flying an airplane. Time to put him down.
Taurus: You’re not part of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force just because you deep fried your hand once.
Gemini: Drilling into your drywall this week will cause it to bleed. On the upside, you find the previous owner of your house.
Lemini: Ben Franklin will appear to you in a time machine he built and ask you to purchase him some future porn.
Cancer: After being bitten by a radioactive prostitute, you will gain the power to stay on your knees indefinitely.
Leo: This week, you’ll live your life-long dream of taking a dump in the White House, but maybe next time, wait for a bathroom.
Virgo: The Jehovah’s Witnesses will stop by your house and urge you to become a Catholic.
Libra: Your deep fried turkey sets fire to your garage. Next time kill it before your try and dunk it in the hot oil.
Scorpio: Your dildo designer resigns due to work exhaustion.
Sagittarius: The star say, go ahead and take that candy bar. What’s the worst that could happen?
Capricorn: You’ll watch another episode of the Walking Dead, but still, no zombie clowns.
Aquarius: Turns out, the tent city you’ve been living in for your Occupy Wall Street protest is just a camp ground.
Pisces: You will have some delicious cookies and that girl will get a clear message from your Mafia buddies.
Addanac City
A Dog’s Life
Adriana Game Over
Ahoy Earth
Art of Webcomics
Bad Oranges
Bad Pudding
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
Capes and Babes
Cat and Cat Comics
Center Lane
Champion City Comics
City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics
Crooked Frame Comics
Crunchy Bunches
Dairy Boy Comics
Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
Ninja and Pirate
The Other End
OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
Robot Friday
Romantically Apocalyptic
SCAPULA
Skitter
Skroode
Sluggy Freelance
Sparkshooter
Spirits of Suburbia
StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
Teaspoon Comics
The Devil’s Panties
The Dreamcatcher
The System
The Tales of Lev
Validation
Vinnie the Vampire
Waystone
Wayward Raven
Winter of Discontent
Woo Hooligan!
Yesterday’s Popcorn
Zombie Boy Comics