Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is the Jay in Jay and Silent Bob, Jason Mewes. Let’s see if his tweets are as outrageous as his character. Snootchie Bootchies!
June 24th: “”Hi Youse All !” , “I am JAX MEWES, I’ll F$@K anything that MOVESssssssss”!!!!!! http://instagr.am/p/MROgYGxH4D/”
Is that dog trying to emulate your Twitter pic? I think so.
June 24th: “DEADSHOT – the elven fighter ! Come son of jor-el kneel before MEWES!!! D&D mmmmkkkk http://instagr.am/p/MRk1lNxH3B/”
Stick with a long bow, you get +1 to hit and you can let the other fighters take all the risks. I mean, that’s what I heard.
June 25th: “Hope youse all having a fantastic MONDAY !!!”
“Youse”? Did you just turn into a 1920’s gangster for one tweet?
June 25th: “When I say who’s house ,youse say JAX HOUSE , who’s house? http://instagr.am/p/MUWnEyRH2V/”
That dog actually looks kind of pissed off.
June 26th: “Yum yum balls http://instagr.am/p/MWsFrSxH4G/”
I knew it was just a matter of time before you posted a pic of your balls.
June 27th: “My Two Bestest characters in the #DC universe http://instagr.am/p/MY98ctRH5A/”
I’ll give you Deadshot, but Martian Manhunter? Really? I guess it depends upon the writer. He was a key character in Kingdom Come.
June 28th: “Thank you HASBRO for another awesome gift box, snootch snootch goes my mewes web slinger http://instagr.am/p/MbZ0UOxH02/”
Toys are a tough purchase. You gotta know the right time to sell.
June 28th: “My arm got wet so I looked up and look what I saw…he was laughing and said ” I pissed on you bittcchh” http://instagr.am/p/Mb11khRH4A/”
Don’t wash that arm. It’s good luck.
June 30th: “VIDCON yes yes y’all”
June 30th: “Labyrinth and such !!!! http://instagr.am/p/Mg6OIURH1z/”
No idea what that means.
July 2nd: “Yes yes youse guys it is CANADA day !!!!”
Canada is nothing but trouble. I saw it in a movie once.
July 2nd: “Vroom vrrooommm!!! Mewes of Anarchy http://instagr.am/p/MliKttxHxh/”
They killed a lot of characters. I could see you on that show. Just don’t tell Sutter you play D&D.
22 hours ago: “MOON Through the the tree hole!! http://instagr.am/p/MmpQfGxH-M/”
If only there was an emoticon for “I tweeting while I’m really high right now.”
Okay, let’s rate Jason’s tweets. I give him an 8 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and definitely a 10 for Insanity. That’s an overall score of 9. Jason is definitely one to follow.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
Ted is pretty awesome. Seth McFarlane takes the best traits from Brian and Peter Griffin and basically comes up with Ted, a magically teddy bear brought to life by a young boy’s wish.
The cast reads like a who’s who of Family Guy voices: Mila Kunis as Laurie, Patrick Warburton as Johnny’s (Marc Wahlberg) co-worker, Patrick Stewart at the narrator and, I’m pretty sure, the voice of the two foreign guys that can almost speak English. (He sounded just like them, friend!) There are some majorly funny moments in the film, as if a cursing teddy bear that hits the bong every ten seconds isn’t funny enough. There is a cameo by Ryan Reynolds that is hands down the funniest thing I’ve ever seen him in.
Another thing that makes the movie great is that Seth McFarlane (along with Family Guy writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild) play to their strengths as comedy writers. They establish a long history with the characters, something most movies in Hollywood don’t do. Most movies would’ve wasted Act 1 introducing everyone until you’re ready to scream at the screen, “Yeah, I GET it. Move on please!” Ted assumes you’re smart enough to get it. The characters are mostly played at the height of their intelligence. Giovanni Ribisi plays a sufficiently creepy guy.
The weakest moments (and I’m nitpicking here) are, unfortunately, with Joel McHale’s character. He’s kind of a two-dimensional bad guy, although Joel milks it for all it’s worth. Also, most of the jokes are low hanging fruit for the Family Guy writers. A lot of it is based on celebrity bashing and references to 80’s movies. I’d be surprised if anyone got the jokes of this flick in ten years. Also, no after credit gag, which was a little disappointing.
That being said, you’ll laugh and it’s pretty damned entertaining. Go see it bros, unless you’re some kind of Communist that hates Family Guy.
I give Ted 9 out of 10 keggers.
If your birthday is this week: You will discover that the “seeds” in the bottom of your iced tea are actually rat turds. Happy birthday!
Aries: You will notice a significant decline in the quality of your cellphone conversations on the toilet.
Taurus: You will discover that your bong will not get your fish high, but the bong water will kill it.
Gemini: This week, you’ll see some great fireworks…when a stray rocket comes through your kitchen window.
Lemini: Your wedding toast does not go as planned and you’re later forced to bail the bride out of jail.
Cancer: You video game avatar sends you a resignation letter via email. It’s just not working out fat fingers.
Leo: You will find out that if you drink ten 5-hour Energies, you won’t stay up for 50 hours. It will just feel that way until your heart attack.
Virgo: You will be kicked out the hipster club. Several hipsters will hold you down and ironically shave off your beard.
Libra: The stars say, you will be forced to appear in a Quinzo’s commercial against your will.
Scorpio: Your solar powered sex toy is a huge success except for the many complaints of sunburned genitals.
Sagittarius: You will discover that you have not seen the movie Ted. You just got high and watched reruns of Family Guy on adultswim.
Capricorn: Linda Hamilton will bust into your house and demand you train for the coming war against machines. After two weeks, she realizes she got the wrong address and leaves.
Aquarius: You will discover that your Pinterest account is unpinteresting.
Pisces: You will be carjacked by Tucan Sam. Just give him the keys.
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The Hero Business
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SCAPULA
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