Australian gangsters,
Crazy grandmother leader
Need subtitles on.
Australian gangsters,
Crazy grandmother leader
Need subtitles on.
Welcome to the latest edition of Rewritten Headlines, Tony D rewrites the news, so you don’t have to read it!
Real: Harry Potter in Good Shape to Hold Off Captain America
Rewritten: Population of Comic Book Virgins on Decline
Real: “Twilight” Cast to Kick off Comic-Con
Rewritten: “Twilight” Cast to Briefly Confront Hot Topic Nerds Before Fleeing San Diego
Real: Raiders CEO: We Have Profound Philosophical Differences with the NFL
Rewritten: Raiders CEO: We’re Not Getting Enough Money
Real: Heat Index Nears 110 Degrees
Rewritten: Climate Change Deniers Seek New Angle to Promote Pollution
Real: CNN Poll: Strong Partisan Divide on Debt Ceiling
Rewritten: Congress on Track to Completely Fuck Us
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is the funny and genuine Craig Ferguson. I’ve always had great respect for this man’s comedy. It just seems so genuine and he doesn’t have to try so hard like some. It’s almost like having a BBC show in prime time. I’m just constantly amazed that they let someone this good have a show. Let’s see if he tweets stack up!
June 9th: “http://yfrog.com/gzgknjcjj @ Munich Airport in Germany enroute to St Petersburg in Russia. #internationalmanofmystery”
Someone’s on vacation. Nice!
June 9th: “http://yfrog.com/h8q2ersj I love morning jetlag walks in a new city. St Petersburg 745am local time.”
That is postcard quality photography my friend!
June 10th: “http://yfrog.com/kelzhj Needs more cowbell. #unsoviet.”
I don’t want to sound like an American tourist, but that is the ugliest McDonald’s I have ever seen.
June 11th: “Having breakfast at a cafe on Nevskiy Prospekt on a beautiful day in St Petersburg. I’m reading @neilhimself‘s Anansi Boys. #ahthatsbetter”
You should be doing shows from there, but then that would ruin the vacation.
June 11th: “http://yfrog.com/khy2ubj For those of you who requested a visual aid.”
Again, nice photo. Your talent amazes and angers me!
June 12th: “http://yfrog.com/keufhtj Tonights gig.”
Seriously? You’re playing a cruise line? Well, guess it’s always good to write the whole trip off on your taxes.
June 12th: “http://yfrog.com/kfj1tj Yup. The soviet thing is definitely over.”
Yep. No more red.
June 12th: “To those who asked. I’m still in Russia. Headed to Paris tomorrow to start LLS avec me & @IMKristenBell & @GeoffTheRobot.”
That’s probably not a big deal to a Scott, I imagine. Right across the channel. Like going to Pittsburgh here. Only with way more rude people and pastries.
June 15th: “http://yfrog.com/gz9nzqkj In Paris with my buddy.”
Man, I am so out of the loop with your show. I gotta start tuning in again.
June 16th: “http://yfrog.com/h0zzfqfj With some friends at Moulin Rouge in Paris.”
Jeez, they must’ve killed a flock of something for those costumes.
June 25th: “Well. That happened. http://t.co/DsVrMDa””
Wow, are they trying to be the Japanese for weirdest show?
June 26th: “http://yfrog.com/kkjdybj Mojave sky. Almost home. Paris may be chic but LA is the hot smoggy tramp that I can’t stay away from.”
That about sums it up.
June 29th: “Despite @neilhimself wearing a black t shirt which was in flagrant disregard of my wishes, he was delightful. He smells like cherries”
Damn, sorry I missed that show. I really have to get caught up. To the Youtube!
July 5th: “http://yfrog.com/gzu6dnbj Found this picture on my phone from the Paris trip. Actually LOL’d as the kids say.”
Nice. How did the TSA treat him? No genitals to grope.
July 6th: “Actual exchange in store today Me:(with infant in stroller) Can you tell me where the elevator is please? Store Dude: It’s upstairs. #jeez”
Hey, he has to concentrate on breathing.
July 13th: “Aw crap. I just gave Rose Byrne a lap dance on the Tonight Show. I may have gone too far. #creepyscotsman.”
Nice!
Okay, let’s rate Craig’s tweets. I give him a 6 for Mustness, but hey, he’s a busy man. But definitely 10’s for Insanity and Style. That’s an overall score of 8.6. Definitely worth following.
Also, a special Twitter in Focus shout-out to TFLN (Texts from Last Night), a hard one to rate, but definitely another to follow. And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
Tony D is back in Northern Liberties in Philadelphia and visits a magic shop.
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