Theron is scary.
Deserves the Oscar by far.
Amazing movie.
Theron is scary.
Deserves the Oscar by far.
Amazing movie.
On the Daily Show the other day, Jon Stewart had on Liev Schieber and they talked about how they were in a movie together. And when you looked at the cast, you were like, “Wow, this is going to be a great movie.” But then you saw the movie and it sucked. Schmucks, unfortunately, is one of those movies.
I mean, it is a dream cast. Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis, Jemaine Clement, Larry Wilmore, that dude from office space— Even Jeff Dunham makes a cameo as the weird ventriloquist guest.
This is actually a remake of a 70’s European movie and that’s part of the problem. Europeans have a tradition of class warfare that doesn’t really work in the states. You can see some rich English dudes getting together to make fun of the peasants. But in America? Nah, not really. Too many lawsuits.
But putting that aside, the big problem is the script. Paul Rudd gets invited to this dinner where they make fun of idiots and he runs into Steve Carell, a perfect idiot. But Carell is so over the top, so destructive and without any redeeming qualities early on, it’s hard to see why Rudd doesn’t just punch him in the face. Later, the screenwriters soften his character and make you feel sorry for him, but by that time, it’s too late. He’s destroyed Rudd’s relationship with his girlfriend, invited a stalker over and help trashed Rudd’s apartment.
The stalker and the artist character (Jemaine Clement) is also over the top. They’re even weirder than the idiots and they are not invited to the dinner. As a matter of fact, the crazy characters out number the sane ones by such a wide margin, it ends up undermining the entire movie as a comedy. By the end, you’ll just be tired of the antics, because in context, who cares? They might as well just throw pies at each other for 90 minutes. And although the last sequence is clever as the credits roll, it’s hard to feel for the characters or why they now all like each other.
Are there a few laughs? Yeah. I mean, how could there not be with these performers. But this is definitely not a theater movie. It’s barely a rental. I give Dinner for Schmucks 3 out of 10 keggers. Maybe if it comes free with OnDemand and you have nothing better to do.
If your birthday is this week: Don’t be fooled by things that sound too good to be true. It’s unlikely your mail order bride will get breast implants ahead of time just because you send her the money first.
Aries: You will accidentally post an erotic email as your status update. It will be hilarious to everyone except the octogenarian you intended to send it to.
Taurus: The stars say, lower your expectations. It’s unlikely you’ll ever become the first pornstar astronaut.
Gemini: Don’t worry about all those poker games you cheated in, no one will ever find out. Mainly because people assume you cheat to win.
Lemini: Ever hear of brushing your teeth? We didn’t think so. Google it shit mouth.
Cancer: You will order the salad and regret it.
Leo: Good news! You will not be raped by a clown this week. It’ll make that groping by a ringmaster seem like nothing.
Virgo: Either the cows are plotting against you or the pharmacy screwed up your order again. Maybe take a trip back to CVS.
Libra: This week, Josh Brolin will offer you some gum. Don’t make a big deal about it.
Scorpio: You will win a political argument this week, but only because you’re wearing the largest strap on dildo in the room.
Sagittarius: You will remember some important instructions wrong this week and instead of playing dead, you will brag to a bear about your credit score.
Capricorn: Your air conditioner bill will be $357.46 this week. Maybe you should keep your meat in the freezer like everyone else.
Aquarius: You will get to see the “Lost” epilogue. It won’t make the show suck any less.
Pisces: Batman will mistake you for the Joker and beat the crap out of you.
Hey bros! I have no idea who or why I wrote this sample, but it was fun at the time. Cut, paste and print to enjoy your mad lib!
Nature Hike
Written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2007
It was a (___________adjective) summer day when we went hiking on the (________noun). The sun was shining, the (____________animal)s were chirping and our backpacks were full of (________________edible noun). Along the (_______________adjective) trail we (_______________________verb, past tense) a park ranger. Hi name was Ranger (_______________name) and he warned us about the dangers of starting a forest (___________noun).
“Always (________________verb) Mother Nature,” said the ranger. “I always carry plenty of (_______________color) (_______________object) when I go (____________verb)ing on the trail.”
The ranger pointed out the (_______________adjective) (_____________noun)s along the side of the (______________place) near the lake. We took pictures of ourselves (__________verb)ing along the trail and later (verb)ed in the lake. It was a (___________adjective) day for all.
This one is new. I figure it would be funny to write a college one.
Mad Frat Lib: The Keg Party
written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2010
It was Friday night at the frat (___________noun) and the kegger was in full swing. The bros had gotten (__________number) kegs and they were stacked on the (_____________noun) ready to be (________________verb).
I drank so much (______________liquid) I was wasted. I ended up hooking up with this chick from (___________place). She had an awesome set of (____________body part)s.
We staggered back to my bro’s room, Brother (___________ __________animal and body part).
As soon as we hit the bed, we started (______________verb) each others (____________body part). She ended up passing out, right in the middle of (__________verb)ing. I wanted it so bad, I had (________color) (________body part).
Addanac City
A Dog’s Life
Adriana Game Over
Ahoy Earth
Art of Webcomics
Bad Oranges
Bad Pudding
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
Capes and Babes
Cat and Cat Comics
Center Lane
Champion City Comics
City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics
Crooked Frame Comics
Crunchy Bunches
Dairy Boy Comics
Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
Ninja and Pirate
The Other End
OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
Robot Friday
Romantically Apocalyptic
SCAPULA
Skitter
Skroode
Sluggy Freelance
Sparkshooter
Spirits of Suburbia
StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
Teaspoon Comics
The Devil’s Panties
The Dreamcatcher
The System
The Tales of Lev
Validation
Vinnie the Vampire
Waystone
Wayward Raven
Winter of Discontent
Woo Hooligan!
Yesterday’s Popcorn
Zombie Boy Comics