Super Frat

Drink Beer, Get Laid, Fight Crime!
  • HOME
  • Columns
    • A Screenwriter’s Take
    • Ask Señor Cactus!
    • Binge Watch
    • Fat Guy Eats
    • Frat Boy At the Movies
    • Fratty or Not Fratty
    • Ira’s Drunken Recipes
    • Level Up
    • Life Skills for Fanboys
    • Movies I Wish I Missed
    • Movies You Missed
    • My Angry Angry Review
    • Poop Stories
    • Rewritten Headlines
    • Screenwriter’s Tips
    • Ten Things
      • Ten Things I Expect
      • Ten Things I Learned
      • Ten Things I’d Like to See
      • Ten Things You Shouldn’t Do
      • Ten Things You’ll Never See
    • The Walk Show
    • Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples
    • Twitter in Focus
    • Webcomic Review
    • Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies
    • Your Fratoscope
  • BUY STUFF
    • Buy the Super Frat comic
    • Super Frat Cafe Press Store
    • The Super Frat T-shirt Store
    • SF/Dick Masterson Special
    • Silent Devil
  • SUBSCRIBE
    • Comic RSS Feed
    • Facebook for SuperFrat.com
    • Tony on Twitter
  • ABOUT
    • What is Super Frat?
    • The Bros
    • The Douchebags
    • Lambda Sigma Rho Website
  • F.A.Q.
Tumblr Facebook Twitter Email Google+ RSS

Give Us Money for Beer and Weed!

Chapters

No Turd Unturned
Fart Wars
Bitter
Giant Nazi Robot
The Hitlerstein Twins
South Padre or Bust
An Army of Dumb
Ira Against the World
Spring Break Dick
The Pyramid Scheme
Walk Like An Egyptian
We Interrupt This Story For Boobs
In Front of the TV
The Andrew Meyer Strip
Don't Try This at Home
A Scary Seven Seconds
Franken 'Gine
Franken 'Gine Escapes!
Super Frat 100
The Dick Masterson Crossover!
Pledges and Pranks
Goth Bro
Drunk Enough
Pete Abrams Guest Star
Nothing to See Here
Ira's Movie Night
A Message From the Dean
Mr. MPH Goes to Washington
Obama's Intern
Sloppy Dave
Spring Break in Afghanistan
Buddy Virus
Bang Your Bro's Girl Slowly
The Bros Go Broke
Back on Campus
The Pledge is Dead!
Mistah Shit's Set Up
MPH's Break Up
Enter Cold Butt!
A Four Beer Conversation
A Five Shot Talk
Frat Boys in Space
Occupy Ira
Hot Pledge
Occupy Some Chick's Pants
Merry Dildo Bear!
SOPA/PIPA Protest Strip
Get Bitter Laid
Bitter's Chick
Your Cheatin' Goth
The Apology
Freshmen Have Their Uses
The Campus Handy
Adviser in Getting Laid
Buddy Virus Returns
Romance is Dead
We Hate Your Girlfriend
The Cycle of College
Love or Ice Cream?
Not That Much of a Bro
Goth Pledge
Say It With Pants
Colorado Road Trip
Pot Bar
Determined Depression
College Brain Surgery
A Dick in Time
Jul10

Frat Boy At the Movies: Predators

by tonyd on July 10, 2010 at 2:09 am

My expectations for the new Predators movie was not good. I always felt the Predator franchise had languished since last Danny Glover kicked ass back in Predator 2. And Adrian Brody as an action star? I just couldn’t see it.

How wrong I was. Predators kicks some pretty major ass. Although 2 is still my favorite, this comes in a close second. The premise is simple: Brody and a bunch of badasses are dropped on a jungle world where the predators can hunt them. In the line up is a convict, a death squad leader, a sniper, a Yakuza, a Russian soldier and, for some reason, Topher Grace as “the doctor”.

Without giving too much away, there are many twists and turns as the movie plays out. Lawrence Fishburn has a great character and the Yakuza has an awesome fight scene. The ending is almost as solid and bleak as 2, but sadly doesn’t have that last killer Glover line.

It’s totally worth seeing and won’t insult your intelligence. The Missus was unimpressed by the movie, but she wasn’t scared out of her mind by it either. Let’s face it, this is no chick flick.

I give Predators 7.5 keggers out of 10. Go see it bros. It kicks ass!

└ Tags: Frat Boy at the Movies, Predators
2 Comments
Jul09

Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples: Joe Pesci Gets Me a Raise

by tonyd on July 9, 2010 at 12:01 am

I’ve used this one as a sample and submitted it to a few places, but for some reason it never seems to make the cut. What can I say? It was my fantasy back in the day when I worked in an insurance office.

Transcript of Joe Pesci Bullying My Boss into Giving me a Raise
copyright 2008
transcribed by Tony DiGerolamo

It’s about 3:40pm in my insurance office. My boss is sitting in his office which is just down the hall from my cubicle. I have propped a nearby fire exit door open so Joe can get in. His arrival is imminent as I try one last time to convince him myself.

(I knock sheepishly on the side of his doorway.)

ME: Uh, excuse me, boss? Can I talk to you a minute?

MY BOSS: Sure, what’s this about Tony?

ME: Well, I thought maybe we could revisit the issue of my raise?

MY BOSS: I told you before I can’t give you a raise right now.

ME: I know, but I’ve been here for—

MY BOSS: This is pointless. I told you I can’t give you a raise and asking me against is endangering your chances of getting one in the future.

(I hear Joe enter in the hall. He walks to the door and spots me. I give him a nod.)

MY BOSS: Who is this?

JOE PESCI: Hey, who are you? That’s the question, who are you, sir?

MY BOSS: Do you work here?

JOE PESCI: My employment status is irrelevant in this conversation. We’re here to talk about the raise you’re gonna give to my friend here.

MY BOSS: I’m not giving him a raise. And I’m calling security if you don’t leave.

JOE PESCI: You’re not callin’ nuthin’. We’re havin’ a conversation here.

(Wendy, the hot girl from accounting attempts to deliver a report.)

WENDY: (to my boss) Are you in a meeting?

MY BOSS: No. It’s okay.

(Joe intercepts her, takes the report and guides her back out.)

JOE PESCI: Actually, doll, we’re havin’ a very important conference here. If you could hold all his calls, we’ll be done in a minute.

MY BOSS: Don’t listen to him. I’m— I’m calling security!

JOE PESCI: (to Wendy) We’ll be done in a minute.

(Joe shuts the door and then pulls the cord out of the wall on my boss’s phone. He grabs the receiver out of his hand.)

JOE PESCI: You want security?! I’ll give you some fuckin’ security!

(Joe throws aside the phone and starts hitting my boss with the receiver.)

JOE PESCI: Here! Make a call now! Hello?! Operator?! Hello?!

MY BOSS: Stop it! Ow! Stop it!

JOE PESCI: You give Tony a raise right now!

MY BOSS: You can’t do this!

(Joe breaks the receiver over my boss’s head. He knocks him down and throws Wendy’s report at him. He grabs objects off the top of the desk at random: a stapler, a cup of pens, a desk blotter. They all end up on my boss.)

MY BOSS: Hey! C’mon! Stop! Ow!

JOE PESCI: You gonna give him that fuckin’ raise?! Huh?! Huh?!

MY BOSS: Security!

(Joe picks up the stapler from the floor and puts it against my boss’s hand on the floor.)

JOE PESCI: You want security?! There!

(Joe pounds the stapler. Blood comes out of my boss’s hand and he howls in pain.)

MY BOSS: Stop! Please stop!

JOE PESCI: There! There’s yer fuckin’ security! Ya cheap cocksucker motherfucker! Ya gonna give him a raise?! Huh?! Huh?!

MY BOSS: I can’t!

JOE PESCI: You lyin’ cocksucker! Don’t you lie to me! I’ll staple yer fuckin’ balls! Pull those pants down right now!

(Joe reaches for my boss’s belt, but he finally cracks.)

MY BOSS: Okay! Okay! I’ll give him a raise! I swear!

JOE PESCI: Ten percent?!

MY BOSS: What?!

(Joe pounds the stapler.)

MY BOSS: Owwwww! Okay! Okay! Please! Just stop!

JOE PESCI: Ten percent! You give him ten percent and I don’t want to hear anything about this conversation! Huh?! Cabiche?! I said cabiche?! You understand?!

MY BOSS: Yes! Yes! (sobs)

(Joe gets up, straightens his hair and suit. He unkinks his neck and adjusts his rings.)

JOE PESCI: All right, good then, we have an understanding. Now, I’m sorry for all that unpleasantness, but I didn’t want to do it. You seem like a good guy. Just a little hard headed. Hopefully, I won’t have to come back here. You don’t want me to come back here, right?

MY BOSS: (cowering) No! No, please…

JOE PESCI: All right, good. (to me) Tony, I gotta run. Tell yer grandmother I said, “Hi”, huh?

TONY: Sure, Joe. Thanks a lot.

JOE PESCI: Hey, hey, it was nuthin’, huh. You woulda done the same.

(Joe pats me on the shoulder and slips out of the office. My boss drags himself back to his office chair. There is an uncomfortable silence for a moment.)

TONY: I’m gonna go finish up my report.

(I leave my boss sobbing on the floor of his office. I leave ten minutes early to avoid traffic. My boss doesn’t say anything.)

└ Tags: Joe Pesci Gets Me a Raise, Tony D's Rejected Comedy Samples
2 Comments
Jul07

Twitter in Focus: Matt Nix

by tonyd on July 7, 2010 at 12:01 am

Hello bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant has wasted a great deal of my time because he keeps making TV shows that I like to watch: Matt Nix is the creator of Burn Notice (the show that finally put Bruce Campbell back on TV) and the absolutely addicting, The Good Guys. Let’s see if his tweets live up to his impressive television resume.

March 7th, 4:49pm: “Working on script for #burnnotice premiere. I’m thinking this year maybe I’ll just have everyone sit around talking. So much easier.”

Just make sure there are explosion, Bruce Campbell being snarky and Gabrielle Anwar wears less and less clothing as the episode progresses.

March 7th, 6:30pm: “To all who’ve asked about a flashback episode… We’ve talked about it. One of these days we will do it.”

That sounds like a Bruce-heavy episode. I approve!

March 22nd, 7:53pm: “I have learned, in recent days that television does not care that I have the flu.”

Producing quality television does take its toll. Believe me, I know.

March 26th, 8:23pm: “#brucecampbell and some hardcore bikers. Note bruce’s awesome bike. http://tweetphoto.com/15957469”

Like they would ever hurt a man that once chopped off his own hand and replace it with a chainsaw.

April 2nd, 2:40pm: “The writing staff of #whitecollar declared war on April fool’s day. @jeffeastin, prepare for our revenge. Prepare.”

You got two of the best shows on TV. I think your revenge is complete unless those guys also work for The Simpsons.

April 7th, 10:11pm: “Official promo poster for The Good Guys! Check it out…! http://tweetphoto.com/17576442”

Where do they hang TV show posters? Inside your TV? Do they break into your house and post it on the side? TV’s are very thin now. Could cause some problems.

April 10th, 5:26pm: “Thanks to all who let me know #mythbusters was testing #burnnotice gags. Our stuff works in theory… looks like they’ll keep us honest!”

Aw, man. No links! I missed that one!

April 21st, 11:06am: “Every character in every show I work on drives a nicer car than I do. http://tweetphoto.com/19331070”

That’s okay. Every character I created usually makes more money than man and they’re too stingy to loan me any. Stupid tightwad characters.

April 21st, 11:45am: “I drive a mini Cooper. It is a car most of my characters would not drive.”

I concur. Although it would be funny to have Dan be forced to drive one.

April 21st, 7:23pm: “I love my mini, but my characters drive cars with more oomph. The Aston Martin is for a criminal on The Good Guys.”

That was the car thief leader in this one!

April 22nd, 6:50pm: “An oldsmobile is sacrificed for art. http://tweetphoto.com/19502068”

Nice! If you need some other cars like that, I’d be happy to volunteer to shoot them.

April 22nd, 7:05pm: “The olds died for The Good Guys. Burn Notice is blowing up an office today, I believe.”

Nice! Explosions are what keep me watching. Is there any way you can get more explosions into the show. Maybe run a thing on the bottom during the credits and commercials? Or how about blowing up the credits!

May 15th, 1:26pm: “Planning for my revenge against @jeffeastin has begun.”

Remind me not to get on your bad side. You got a long memory, Matt.

May 15th, 1:28pm: “Meanwhile, I am at my drawing class trying not to think about the premiere of The Good Guys this week.”

Man, you got time for a drawing class? You are a most efficient producer of television, my friend.

May 19th, 10:16pm: “For those watching The Good Guys premiere and are wondering where Dan Stark got his skills… http://tweetphoto.com/23147329”

Nice. Now tell us who taught him to grow the ‘stache?

May 19th, 11:22pm: “In honor of #thegoodguys premiere. http://tweetphoto.com/23154245”

The ‘stache is back!

May 19th, 11:23pm: “Another #thegoodguys pic. http://tweetphoto.com/23154344”

His ‘stache is thin. That’s why he plays a bad guy.

May 26th, 8:49pm: “I love wnyc’s radiolab. Pretty soon Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich will own all the real estate in my brain.”

Well, at least the housing market there has bounced back.

June 4th, 12:41pm: “Thanks to all who watched last night! I’m following up a fun premiere with a dental apointment!”

No problem. Enjoy your new, straighten, whiten teeth on us!

June 4th, 3:22pm: “Today’s good news: the ratings for the #burnnotice premiere were great!”

Good deal. Now you can afford more teeth. Maybe even an extra row. You’ll be able to eat like a shark!

June 4th, 3:24pm: “Today’s bad news: my dentist is mad at me for not flossing enough.”

Charge it to one of the shows. I want to see “Matt Nix’s Teeth Flossed by” in the credits.

June 7th, 11:13pm: “This is the first week when both #burnnotice and #thegoodguys is on. Exciting. Also kinda scary.”

It’s like you have two jobs, only you’re not driving a cab AND cleaning out the peep show booths at the same time.

June 7th, 11:15pm: “Also, everyone watch #lietome, from my friends Sam Baum and @shawnryantv!”

Hey, that’s the other show I watch! Nice! Tell your friend Sam, it’s pretty awesome.

June 8th, 1:06am: “@jeffeastin we are currently trying to name a character Jeff Eastin on #thegoodguys. Some legal issue… We may need you to sign something.”

Hey, we do that in one of my comics, Comic Book Mafia.

June 17th, 9:35pm: “At dinner with gabrielle. I feel glamorous.”

Nice, dude!

June 17th, 9:36pm: “To those worried about michael’s sunglasses; thanks to your postings and concern, we were reminded to bring them back. Thank you.”

Thank you! Jeez, and leave the ‘stache, will ya? Look, we’ll come up with a checklist and email it to you.

Okay, let’s rate Matt’s tweets. He doesn’t update often, but he’s pretty regular. I definitely see a little inside scoop with the shows if you’re a fan. That’s a 7 for Style, 6 for Insanity and 8 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 7. Plus, I give it an extra 2 because both your shows are awesome. That’s a 9. A must follow and you should watch the shows. That’s all for TIF this week and if you have a suggestion, email us here.

└ Tags: Matt Nix, Twitter in Focus
1 Comment
Jul05

Tony D’s DVD Reviews in Haiku: Unthinkable

by tonyd on July 5, 2010 at 12:01 am

Jackson does his shtick.
They should have called this movie.
Unwatchable Film.

└ Tags: DVD, Samuel L. Jackson, Tony D's DVD Reviews in Haiku, Unthinkable
1 Comment
  • Page 915 of 1,010
  • « First
  • «
  • 913
  • 914
  • 915
  • 916
  • 917
  • »
  • Last »

Latest Comics

  • Platform
  • Lawfare
  • Somali Defender
  • God’s Choice
  • Thanksgiving Ditch

Brother Websites

Addanac City
A Dog’s Life
Adriana Game Over
Ahoy Earth
Art of Webcomics
Bad Oranges
Bad Pudding
Bearman Cartoons
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
Capes and Babes
Cat and Cat Comics
Center Lane
Champion City Comics
City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics

Crooked Frame Comics
Crunchy Bunches
Dairy Boy Comics
Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
kinslayer
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
Ninja and Pirate
The Other End

OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
Robot Friday
Romantically Apocalyptic
SCAPULA
Skitter
Skroode
Sluggy Freelance
Sparkshooter
Spirits of Suburbia
StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
Teaspoon Comics
The Devil’s Panties
The Dreamcatcher
The System
The Tales of Lev
Validation

Vinnie the Vampire
Waystone
Wayward Raven
Winter of Discontent
Woo Hooligan!
Yesterday’s Popcorn
Zombie Boy Comics

Finished Webcomics

Adorable Crap
And Then There Were Zombies
B.O.W.L.
Breaking the Ice
Briar Hollow
The Bully's Bully
Cautionary Tales
Celebrities!
ChinChat Comics
Crowbar Benson
Dinger
Dork Demonic
Dreamstruck
Foreign Matter
Game Stuff
Hardboiled Shaman
Headlocks and Headaches
Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun
The Kaci Bell Mysteries
Little Alice
Mongrel Designs Webcomic
Mysterious Ways
Imagine Industries
New Book Day
Pea Green Coffee Cup
Reality Amuck
Rock Manlyfist
Roger's Blues
Roy's Boys
Sex, Drugs and June Cleaver
Stale Bacon
SubCulture
Super Haters
The Servants
Time Wounds All Heels
Tomversation
Wannabe Heroes