Sep16

Twitter in Focus: Angry Town Hall

by tonyd on September 16, 2009 at 1:55 am

Hello, bros and welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  Today’s suggestion is from Courtney Love who has been relentlessly twittering recently.  “Narciso was lovely my surname was “rodriguez” from 1st grade onward, i think thta freaks people out i thought it was a cool Italian name.”  Every tweet a hilarious gem, Courtney.  But we have no time to watch you crash and burn out today.  Today’s contestant is “Angry Town Hall”.  It’s a joke, but at least it’s a funny joke.

September 10th, 3:10pm:  “Joe Wilson has apologized. But will OBAMA apologize for taxing us to fund SOCIALIZED FIRE DEPARTMENTS?”

I don’t think the federal government runs your local fire department, but I get your point.

September 10th, 5:31pm: “#FACT you can prevent fire by covering valuables with moist teabags. WE DONT NEED GOVT 2 DO IT”

Ha!  Although the teabaggers get a bad rap thanks to Fox supporting them and MSNBC making fun of them.  (Ron Paul supporters, just stay away!  They make you look like dumbasses!)

September 10th, 11:03pm: “Obama may have debunked “Death Panels” but Obama’s Fire Dept. STILL using “Fire Panels” to let GRANDMA’S HOUSE BURN.”

Amusing.  Geez, I hope the dimmer Glenn Beck crowd doesn’t take this too seriously.

September 10th, 11:10pm: “RUMOR: Obama makes Fire Dept. use their LADDERS to SPY ON YOU. Think about it. It’s probably true.”

The ultimate goal, I guess would be to have one of these rumors taken seriously.  That would be awesome.

September 11th, 12:03am:  “DEFENDING JOE WILSON: He is a ROLE MODEL for not overthinking snap decisions.”

Yeah, the House had a nice run.  Now it’s just like English Parliament.

September 11th, 12:35am:  “We are URGING people NOT 2 travel to Canada -their Fire Depts. R socialized &it is NOT safe. (ex: can die in fire)”

Don’t forget France and the rest of Europe. Damn Socialists!

September 11th, 2:02pm: “WHY does Obama keep FORCING firefighters to put out fires that do not lead to profit? C’mon. We’re TAXED ENOUGH ALREADY.”

Yeah, that worked out so well during the Roman Empire.  (It was an excuse to buy up real estate cheap after it burned.)  I’m surprise Donald Trump didn’t think of it.

September 12th, 3:47am: “RUMOR: 9 million Canadians die in fires each year b/c of their SOCIALIZED fire depts. Think about it. It’s probably true.”

Aw, you should’ve said “back-bacon frying related fatalities”.

September 12th, 4:36am: “TURN OVER Fire Depts. to BLACKWATER. They won’t be held acctble. if something goes wrong (saving taxpayers $)”

They can just shoot anyone that complains.

September 12th, 5:43pm: ““If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of SOCIALIZED fire depts.” -Madison”

Ha!

September 12th, 7:17pm: “Obama will be on ’60 Minutes’ tomorrow; we are advising ALL PARENTS to pull their kids out of Sunday School.”

Wait, that one doesn’t make any sense.  Wouldn’t 9-12’ers put their kids IN Sunday school so they wouldn’t see it?  And who goes to Sunday school at seven o’clock at night?

September 12th, 9:42pm: “Thx to all who came to 9/12 protest in DC, all agree we need to ELIMINATE OUR SOCIALIST FIRE DEPT. #glennbeck”

Glenn Beck quoting this site would just be the best.  He can’t spell, so I think they have a shot.

September 13th, 3:39am:  “RUMOR: Firemen save cats from trees, then secretly replace with ACORN SPY ROBOT CATS. Think about it. Its probably true. #tcot”

Ha, nice!

September 13th, 5:08pm: “RUMOR: Obama may use NASA lasers to covertly kill the elderly from space. Proof: NASA is socialized.”

Sounds like one writer.  Two tops.  He should hook up with the Billionaires for Wealthcare.  I think these are the same guys that were the Billionaires for Bush.

September 14th, 2:35am: “Two roads diverged in the road, and I – I took the one that will privatize our Fire Departments. And it has made all the difference.”

One nation, under God, with liberty and privatized fire departments for all.

September 15th, 12:31am:  “RUMOR: Obama forces Firefighters to use high-powered hoses to water ARUGULA in W.H. Garden. OUR TAX $$ WTF.”

This reminds me of a Ted Rall cartoon about the 9/11 Firefighters.

11 hours ago:  “ATTN FIRE DEPTS: We are leaving our garden hoses at home.. THIS TIME.”

You lost me.  Is that some reference to the 9-12ers?

5 hours ago:  “PROTEST ObamaFireCare on 9/24: http://www.prweb.com/releas… #tcot #glennbeck”

Nice.  Now build on that.  I would go with regular posts a day, maybe three of quality.  Don’t rush, they’ll come to you.

5 hours ago:  “When Southward storms rain in Mexico, they are using AMERICAN water to put out fires. STOP SOCIALISM. #glennbeck”

See?  Now you’re working the whole immigrant angle.  Nice.

5 hours ago:  “RUMOR: Fire hydrants contain robots used by ACORN to indoctrinate ppl into prostitution. DO NOT DRINK OR RUN THRU.”

Nice!  Topical funny.  Not bad.  The website’s a scream too.

Okay, let’s rate Angry Town Hall.  I like this form of protest comedy, so I’m a bit biased for it, I’ll admit.  Although, I think with a name like “Angry Town Hall” you need to someone get in on the Healthcare debate too.  Still, I give him a 9 for Style, 8 for Insanity and a 9 for Mustness.  That’s an overall score of 8.3.  Nice.  Funny stuff.  Unless you’re a socialist or a 9-12er.  If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, drop us an email.

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Sep12

Frat Boy At the Movies: 9

by tonyd on September 12, 2009 at 1:38 am

9 is pretty good.  It’s more style than story, but the story is pretty solid.  I would’ve liked to know more about the background of some of the characters.  The pacing of the movie is a bit rushed, especially at the beginning.  I would’ve like to have seen more of a wind up.

Basic premise, the man’s civilization burns out sometime in the late 30’s with the invention of a self-aware computer.  (minor spoiler)  It goes bad, ala Terminator, and wipes out the human race.  Just before we go, the scientist that invented it realizes his mistake and imbues 9 little puppet men with part of his soul.

The designs are like an alternate 1930’s (maybe earlier becaue there’s sort of a mustard gas thing in part of it).  9 is cool, but the characters lack some depth and I would’ve like to know more about how the post-human world works.  Still, I didn’t feel ripped off or anything, although the movie is kinda short.  Don’t expect the moon and the stars and you should feel satisfied.

I give 9 five keggers out of 10.

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Sep10

Who Should Eat a Dick: Guest Column

by tonyd on September 10, 2009 at 1:59 am

sf-tony-avatar.jpg with Tony DiGerolamo

Every Thursday, Super Frat lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

That’s right dick eaters, it’s Thursday and for your unbelievable asshole-ishness, it’s time to consume the trouser snake, swallow the little Elvis and eat a dick.

 –  To the dumbass who robbed a woman, then returned to her house to ask for a date.  You have a date with a plate of hairy dick.

– To the deputy that thought it would be fun to mess with food meant for prisoners.  Here’s a plate of dick.  Don’t worry, no one rubbed their dick on it.

– To the guy arrested for flinging jellyfish at teens.  Open wide.  A plate of dick is being flinged your way.

–  To the guy that was arrested for killing a toddler while trying to hit a guy with a baseball bat in a church over $20 and the moving of a washing machine.  Here’s a whole washing machine full of dicks for you to eat.

– To the prosecutors in Florida that put an innocent retarded man in prison for rape and murder for 26 years.  Nice job Barney Fifes.  Here’s a plate of retarded dick for you to snack on.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board

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Sep09

Twitter in Focus: Tony Fleecs

by tonyd on September 9, 2009 at 3:05 am

Hello bros and welcome to another edition of Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  This week our contestant is comic book creator, Tony Fleecs.  He did a great comic for Silent Devil called “In My Lifetime”.  I keep bugging him to do a webcomic, but so far no dice.  I guess analyzing him on Twitter would be the next best thing.  Let’s see if he tweets as funny as he writes.

August 11th, 11:20am: “On a road trip with @ChrisRyder and @HisLittleSister. Hijinx to follow.”

How convenient.  Please keep us posted.

August 12th, 2:03pm: “Just ONCE I’d like to see what Whiskey Pete’s casino is all about.”

It’s about $50 according to this.  But slow down, if you sleep in your car, that’s like saving five hands of blackjack.

August 12th, 2:40pm: “Primm, NV. Girl at hotdog on a stick plunges a trashcan full of lemonaid hypnotically.”

Yeah, but before you got there she was stirring it with her leg.

August 12th, 9:23pm: “Thing probably looks like a trash bag hanging off a doorknob.”

Are you talking about a superhero’s cock?

August 12th, 9:40pm: “Utah is completely empty. I think we’ve seen a total of 14 buildings in the whole state. brother says it’s because mormons live underground.”

No, that’s where God buried the dinosaur bones.

August 12th, 10:42pm:  “granjaj!! Chic-fil-a!”

Oh, sure, you knock the mormons and then you eat their chicken.

August 12th, 11:40pm: “so close and so far away. this road trip needs more mix-tapes.”

Or something exciting to tweet about, either way.

August 14th, 1:08pm: “Shocked to find the quarter bins at my hometown lcs are15cent bins now. anybody looking for a complete run of Youngblood Strikefile?”

That bin can’t go low enough, Tony.

August 14th, 7:20pm: “Had to go all the way to Colorado to find @MikeCosta ‘s 4th GI:Joe book. Way to go, @MikeCosta.”

Man, you guys are driving far just to buy comics.  You are a dedicated fanboy, TF.

August 14th, 11:25pm: “My mom is sewing up my ripped shorts pockets.”

Let that be a lesson to you.  You should never stuff your comics in your back pocket.

August 15th, 2:20pm: “bumper to bumper traffic on the way to Grand Junction.”

Where are you guys going?  You can’t gamble at Whiskey Pete’s by driving to Utah.

August 15th, 6:56pm: “Colorado is a cruel mistress. completely stopped on the 70 for at least 5 minutes now.”

Wow, five whole minutes?  Colorado is flat, just make a left or a right.

August 15th, 7:04pm: “Aaaaand it’s because the president’s in town. This is what I get for voting.”

If only you had voted for McCain, then you wouldn’t be stuck in traffic because most of us would’ve been killed in a nuclear war.

August 15th, 11:32pm:  “Whats up all my Salina, Utah peeps!? I’m digging your Phillips66 station.”

I think that’s an exaggeration.  You don’t really dig Phillips66.

August 16th, 12:43am: “if god were an energy drink, he would be Red Line Extreme… Not intended for people 15lbs or more overweight. Show no mercy.”

Dear Lord, do you drink it or pour it into a rocket?

August 16th, 2:43am: “From the makers of red line, an energy drink\libido enhancer called, get this, “Black Pearl.””

Libido enhancer?  Well, I guess if you’re going to Vegas you might need it.

August 16th, 7:33am: “Las vegas kareoke. Wu Tang is for the babies.”

Nice!  I didn’t even know you could bet on karoke.

August 16th, 6:20pm:  “Finally home. Think roommate’s had somebody sleeping in my room while I was gone…. At least they made the bed.”

Thereby sealing in the sweet, sweet lovemaking juices in your sheets.

August 16th, 7:05pm:  “I’m OK now. I’m ok.”

Except your heart might explode from all that Black Pearl you obviously drank.

August 17th, 4:58pm: “Back in the studio. Time to make the donuts.”

Get working on that webcomic, dammit. This whole trip could’ve been several strips!

August 20th, 4:37pm: “Who dubs a porno? This is ridiculous.”

You might also asks, who watches porno in the middle of the day?

August 21st, 2:25am: “Basterds in 35.”

Nooooo!  Wait for DVD!

August 21st, 6:22am: “Bear Jew fo’ life, son!”

Too late.

August 21st, 7:38pm: “Watching movies in bed with an ailing @JoshFialkov and @chrisryder. it looks like a 30 year old fat dude slumber party over here.”

Aw, gross.  You guys aren’t comparing breast size are you?

August 22nd, 5:21am: “I want to come back as Private Ulmer in slow-mo with a punch gun in my next life.”

Was that in Basterds?  Can’t remember.

August 31st, 2:06am: “You sure can see a lot of stars in the North Hollywood sky.”

Yeah, “Celebrity Ballooning” is still shooting their season.

August 31st, 6:15am: “Google Alerts, you’ve done it again. http://bit.ly/dcB0o”

Ah, the exciting world of being a comic book celebrity.

39 minutes ago:  “Kinkos? More like, Kink-SLOWS.”

Hahahahahaha!  Google Alerts.  Now I get it.

Well, so much for the exciting life of a comic book creator.  I should talk, I’ve been chained to the computer for the last two weeks working on the new Super Frat collection.  But I digress.  Let’s rate Tony Fleecs.  For Style, I give Tony a 7 because he drove all the way to Las Vegas just to karoke.  For Insanity, I give him a 9 because he drove past Las Vegas to Colorado, then turned around just to go all the way to Las Vegas for karoke.  And finally, for Mustness, I give him a 6.  He’s pretty current and let’s you follow him around on trips even if they are insanely random.  That’s an overall score of 7.3.  Nice job, TF. And if you have an entry for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

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