Bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. This week’s contestant had to happen sooner or later, it’s the world’s most famous porn star, Jenna Jameson.
Does Jenna having something to say or will her tweets be a relentless promo for her website? Let’s take a look.
June 20th, 3:28am: “Check out my TMZ cheapshot blog – http://bit.ly/aDzxs”
Aw, Jenna. Don’t let the haters get you down. I learned the hard way. The Bendis Board is kind of like the TMZ of comic books. It’s best not to read. They’re all jealous of you. Besides, these pics aren’t so bad.
June 21st, 4:22pm: “soaking up the sun… while my boys are fast asleep :)”
Your boys? Oh, well, in your profession it was bound to happen.
June 21st, 6:32pm: “tito is home from louisiana! too bad he has to leave for Pittsburgh tonight :(“
Tito? Oh, that Tito.
June 22nd, 12:23am: “I swear, im so fricken cranky…..”
Well, the important thing is Tito’s not cranky. Because he can probably kill someone with his pinky.
June 22nd, 8:19am: “just finished giving the babies their dream feeds (eating while they sleep)…they almost sleep through the night”
Wait. You can do that?! Why didn’t anyone tell me I could be eating and sleeping?!
June 24th, 1:33am: “seriously, I had one of the worst days EVER….”
Really? How bad could it be being rich and famous? At least you’re not this kid.
June 25th, 1:12am: “ok…. so what are you suppose to call your significant other, that you have a baby with… but you aren’t married? boyfriend doesn’t cut it”
Wait, wait, I got it. You baby’s daddy? The guy with the fastest sperm? The Bangmaster?
June 25th, 2:59am: “http://twitpic.com/8crvq – life in HB is fantastic :)”
Nice.
June 25th, 3:06am: “http://twitpic.com/8cs6y -“
Also nice.
June 25th, 3:32am: “I obviously must be bored and without my man, if Im tweeting at midnight….”
Jeez, poor Jenna has turned into mom. Well, at least she’s a MILF.
June 25th, 3:49am: “Tito is in Pittsburgh for the week at a huge fight promotion… sucks balls if ya ask me…“Nah, too easy.
June 25th, 3:51am: “OK, to all of you sweeties complimenting my body, Thanks! Im working SO hard!”
About that, would it kill you to put up a webcam in your gym?
June 25th, 3:58am: “http://twitpic.com/8cun8 – Been in the gym!”
June 27th, 2:57pm: “just dyed my hair darker…. just a bit”
Jenna, the sad truth is, now that you live kind of like normal people, you’re going to need a hobby.
June 27th, 3:12pm: “journey is such an angel… he looks at me with such a story in his eyes… im so in love”
Aw, that’s sweet. Anyone else completely lose their boner?
June 28th, 2:58am: “male butt augmentation…..why?”
Hey, look, my butt needed it, okay?!
June 28th, 3:06am: “im shooting dirty video for Tito wall he’s away on my sidekick to send to him ;)”
Nice goin’. Now we all hate Tito.
June 30th, 1:43am: “tito got home last night… having so much sex, I can barely walk :) is it true you’re most fertile AFTER you give birth?”
Yep, still hating Tito.
July 2nd, 12:31am: “sushi with my man and my stepson… the twins are with gramps :)”
Ah, delicious sushi. Try the tuna belly. It’s the best.
July 6th, 10:09pm: “Sorry, been so busy with the boys… packing for boys first trip to Vegas :)”
Yeah, there’s just not enough gambling and hookers in Huntington Beach.
July 13th, 5:44pm: “my vegas weekend has come to a close… the boys had a blast”
That was quite a weekend that lasted a week. Well, at least you didn’t lose your boys in a craps game like so many other porn stars.
July 13th, 9:15pm: “making the drive from Vegas to HB… the boys are totally zonked out…we are like the Grizwalds”
Yeah, if the Grizwalds knew their way around a 3-way and how to beat the shit out of someone with an elbow.
July 15th, 2:59am: “thanks to my man for sticking up for me… its not right paparrazzi shooting me in my own backyard”
Yeah! That’s terrible! Let me so those photos so I can complain!
July 15th, 3:45am: “Yes, the Paps staked out my backyard and snuck images of me in my bikini, th ephotos leaed to a certain underground forum, that bashed me…”
Look, don’t sweat it, JJ. I think when your kids get older, there will be other photos of you that you’ll have to worry about.
July 15th, 3:48am: “We are working on a varified Tito Twitter account very soon! Waiting for the moderators to make it happen!”
As long as he can’t punch through twitter, cool.
July 15th, 9:03pm: “long day of being a mommy…”
Those kids can age you, Jenna.
July 17th, 4:09am: “long day of physical therapy… the same tomorrow”
What? What happened? Did you strain a boob?
July 18th, 3:58am: “so funny how people think Tito is really the voice behind @titoortiz”
No, not really.
July 18th, 4:24am: “bored sitting awake… babies fast asleep….”
Don’t order a pizza. You know what happens everytime you do that.
July 18th, 4:36am: “haters keep hating… im the mother to 2 beautiful boys and the woman to an amazing man…”
It’s kind of weird that people get jealous of you, especially now that you’re kind of retired.
July 18th, 4:50am: “aubrey is a fine ass… heheheheheeeeee”
Pics please.
July 18th, 4:52am: “hey little girl…. don’t be jealous…. im actually a cool chick, you’d probably be surprised. Take off you jealous glasses…. ;)”
Nope, sorry, Jenna. Now that someone calls you “mom”, you are officially entering the very uncool phase of your life. You can try to fight it, but eventually you’ll be wearing sweat pants and eating off your kid’s plate when he doesn’t eat. I’ve seen the transformation happen to the best of them. You can’t avoid. Just accept it. TMZ is going to get way better embarrassing photos of you.
July 18th, 4:54am: “I swear, I have some of the coolest girlies supporting me here…. loves you”
And many, many, many more men.
July 18th, 4:58am: “tito is crushing it in the gym…. damn….. I can’t wait until he fights again :)”
He should fight like a rhino. That would be cool.
July 18th, 5:05am: “girls who dish out hate just look envious and regretful… hope you find time to get in the gym and take back your life… BLOCKED!”
Wow that was a quick turn around. Is Jenna fickle? Or is it the Twitter-lationships that are?
July 18th, 5:07am: “Jesse Jameson and Journey Jette are my perfect little men”
You should’ve named one of them “Bottle of”
July 18th, 5:14am: “is it wrong to NEVER check your voicemail?”
Yes. Yes it is.
July 18th, 5:22am: “My babies are 4 months… and growing like weeds… I’m going to have to fight the girls off!”
I thought you were done with porn, but that would be hot. Oh, wait, you mean— Nevermind.
July 18th, 5:29am: “Tito is fighting his way out of my panties right now :) LOLOL”
Again, we all hate Tito and— Wait, why did he put on your panties?
July 18th, 5:38am: “Okay… gonna take care of my man, and get ready for my 4 am feeding… superwoman! goodnight cuties!”
Does he just like point to one of your old movies and say, “Let’s do that.”?
July 18th, 4:43pm: “at sushi with tito…. HB is filled with douchebags”
Ha! Actually, that’s pretty much most of L.A. isn’t it?
July 18th, 7:06pm: “date night… finally going to see Bruno… YES!”
Highly recommended.
July 18th, 7:49pm: “so we get in the theatre and sit down, 2 minutes later a old lady sits down right next to me… why? no one else in here!”
Jeez, you made Tito sit in the car? He must be whipped as Hell.
July 18th, 7:50pm: “she smells like soy sauce”
Don’t judge Mrs. General Tso.
Okay, time to rate Jenna (Ms. Jameson if you’re nasty). Jenna is pretty friendly and open, I give her a 6 for Style. She is rapidly becoming domesticated so Insanity I rate at a mere 3. However, the pictures are nice, so I have to give her a 7 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 5.3. Kind of low, but let’s face it. She’s somebody’s MOM now.
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with Tony DiGerolamo
