Jun18

Who Should Eat a Dick: Guest Column

by tonyd on June 18, 2009 at 5:11 pm

sf-tony-avatar.jpg with Tony DiGerolamo

Every Thursday, the Super Frat site lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

–  The Senate which decided to apologize for slavery way too late this week, can eat a dick.  Don’t worry, they’ll get an apology for it several generations from now, probably shortly after a new Senate acknowledge the injustice of Guantanamo sometime in the next 200 years.

–  And speaking of Congress, the “anti-war” Democrats that voted for the war funding bill that could’ve been defeated had they voted no, can eat a big, sloppy, shroom-infused hippie dick.

–  George W. Bush, who decided to come out of his hidey-hole this week and criticize President Obama for shutting down Guantanamo can eat a plate of Guantanamo sun-dried dick.

–  Chairman of the GOP, Michael Steele, who basically said this week that “ABC is in the tank for Obama”, can eat a bowl of sour grapes on a Fox News plate with a side of dick.

– And finally, the Queens mom that scarred her daughter with fire during a voodoo ritual can eat a rotting zombie dick.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board.

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Jun17

Twitter in Focus: Miss Destructo (missdestructo)

by tonyd on June 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Bros:

Welcome to another edition of Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  This week our contestant is Miss Destructo.  Partially because it was by request and partially because some of you may remember my assistant, Tony Destructo, that accommpanied to many conventions back in the day

boothtd.jpg

with the Altar of Sacrifice.   Anyhow, Miss Destructo is way different.  Let’s see how:

Her bio states: “Destroyer of Social Media Boredom. Will Work For Yams. Nothing is Impossible.”  Good so far.  And you gotta love smart chicks and punk girls and smart girls that are punk, well, bonus.

24 hours ago:  “This is what he was throwing off the roof. www.tweetphoto.com/21859auf”

Yeah, don’t do that.  Remember what happened in the Dawn of the Dead remake.  Ka-boom!

21 hours ago:  “Huge New Twitter Favorite! Want to know about the coolest events in South Carolina. @SceneSC”

There’s cool events in South Carolina?  What do you mean like church with food?

21 hours ago: “I need a full body massage. Totally wish I lived closer to @HealthyLounge”

And I wish they had live webcams at HL, but we can’t all get what we want.

20 hours ago: “I want to be the Twitter Czarina of Greenville RT @GuyKawasaki: Britain appoints a Twitter czar: http://trkk.us/?arf”

Judging by the relentless tweets, you more than qualify, Ms. D.

19 hours ago:  “Night of Carnivale Number 3. One and half more seasons!”

Didn’t realize that show was still on.  Heard it was good.

19 hours ago: “I don’t have a fairy godmother… I have @barrymoltz”

Shameless cross promotion.  Let’s continue.

19 hours ago: “Chicago twitters ! I’ll be in town on July 2nd! :)”

Wow, do twitterers have that kind of fan base?  She does have over 3000 followers.  Be careful Ms. D.  Some are just captivated by your good looks and sassy hair style.

18 hours ago:  “July 2nd- Destructo Froman Yam Queen of Greenville is in Chicago. Who wants to tweetup that evening?”

You’re a relentless hipster, Ms. D.  “Tweetup”.  That’s so 2009.

18 hours ago:  “How did you know! RT @kelliebob: RT @JRCohen: The diff between Twitter/Non twitter people is twitter people tweet and non twitter people pee”

Um, wha?  Let’s check the pretentious meter for that.

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Hmm, just as I thought.  Very high.  Let’s see if she can pull out of this hipster dive before the end.

18 hours ago:  “Just did a radio questionairre with Chicken Pop Pod. May have used the Dr. Girlfriend voice….”

Wow, she does look like Dr. Girlfriend.  That is kinda cool.  Of course, no one could see that on a podcast.

18 hours ago:  “Everyone needs to visit @chickepoppod Pop Culture Masters of Disaster. Those guys are fun. :)”

Okay.  Back to promotion, which I’m not against.  Hell, that’s basically my whole twitter.  Here’s the link for the CPP.

18 hours ago:  “Miss Destructo meets mayor Knox White? (the real one) Tune in this thursday….@linkingtheupstate”

I realize you only have 140 characters, but what’s going to happen?  Where are we tunning in to?  I’m guess Miss Destructo’s blog will have the answers.

17 hours ago:  “My theme song. RT @jvance325: (She’s) He-s our hero. Gonna take pollution back to zero. #90scartoons http://myloc.me/45Wc”

Ah, Captain Planet.  Someone tell me is it ironic, campy or just lame?

7 hours ago:  “Maybe I will stop by? RT @Lee_Brewer: Tech After 5 this afternoon starting at 5:30pm, Barley’s Taproom, downtown Greenville.”

Okay, she drinks, so there’s a plus.

6 hours ago: “Heading out to the Healthy Lounge soon!! @HealthyLounge”

And she drinks some more.  Possibly with full body massage.

2 hours ago: “Downtown. Same Bat Time Same Bat Channel.”

About an hour ago:  “Miss Destructo’s Beauty Secrets http://bit.ly/QQZd6“

Now that sounds like good advice.  Ladies take heed.

Let’s rate Miss Destructo.  I would say that all those tweet probably cut down on the quality somewhat as her real effort seems to be put into her blog.  But hey, I’ve been there.  My Myspace blog has basically become another twitter for me.  So I’ll have to give her a 5 for Mustness.  Miss D is also very level headed, except maybe for the throwing of heavy objects off her roof.  I’ll have to give her a 7 for Insanity.  And her Style, well, I gotta go with a 10.  She’s got the look.  That’s an overall rating of 7.3.  Thanks for playing Ms. D.  And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

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Jun14

Frat Boy At the Movies: Away We Go

by tonyd on June 14, 2009 at 12:01 am

Away We Go is kind of an arthouse chick flick.  It’s all about parenting and its a theme that kind of gets beaten over you head in a very slow, drumming pace.  Maybe it’s just because my attention span has been destroyed by movies like The Transformers, but I really wanted to fast forward through some of the movie just to get it going.  It felt a little empty and it’s full of shots of the main two characters walking, standing and looking.

Burt and Vernoa (John Krasinski and Maya Rudolf) are a couple expecting their first child.  They moved near Burt’s parents, but when the parents abruptly move to Belgium they decide they have to go on a very slowly paced road trip to decide where they would like to raise their kid.  They meet the bad parents, the uber hippie parents (the incredibly annoying hippie mom is played by Maggie Gyllenhaal), the good parents, the crumbling family and finally it all ties in to the most obvious choice which is foreshadowed about 20 minutes into the film.

It’s not an awful movie.  But it’s not really funny enough to be a comedy and not really dramatic enough to be a drama.  This is defintely a movie for a lazy, slow Sunday.  If you’re even half awake, you’ll probably find yourself squirming in your chair unless you’re looking for something light and slow paced to watch.  John Kasinski plays a variation of Jim from the Office, but Maya Rudolf gives a pretty good performance.  I don’t know.  It feels more like a play to me.

I give this movie 4 out of 10 keggers.  If you’re looking to escape the noise of the summer blockbusters, maybe this is for you.

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Jun13

Tony D’s DVD Reviews in Haiku: Defiance

by tonyd on June 13, 2009 at 12:01 am

James Bond saves the Jews.

History channel fodder.

Sabretooth helps too.

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