Hey bros:
Welcome to another edition of Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is comedian Eddie Izzard. Eddie’s got a sharp wit, but does he have a sharp twit? Let’s find out.
May 11th, 5:24pm: “The weather was great today and then a fridge appeared and ate us”
I have no idea what this means. Could this be a fake Eddie Izzard? Possible. But it seems to be a rather off the cuff photo, so I’d tend to think it real. Let’s move on.
May 12th, 6:40am: “Question for Twitterdom. There’s a saying that women multi task better than men. Is this absolutely true, often true or incorrect?”
Okay, a bit of a thinker. Sounds like he may be trolling for material. Always solid stand up with the men vs. women. I would say its incorrect, but I would say they enjoy multitasking more.
May 12th, 6:51am: “RT no, just the different organistion of the brain means tasks are apporached differently, i know i’m a psychologist (via @thehippriest)”
Must be nice to have over 300,000 fans to answer your questions that fast. Think I could get tax advice in less than 11 minutes? Noooooo.
May 12th, 8:16pm: “Good night to all around the world”
With a five hour difference, that’s 1am. He must tweet pretty regularly to say good night to everyone.
May 14th, 7:42am: “Good morning everyone. The weather is medium poo, but not raining – so that’s a good thing”
Not raining in England? I thought you’re all in a constant state of damp over there.
May 14th, 7:42am: “Well, it’s afternoon really”
Enough. Tell us a joke already. Dance, funny man, dance!
May 14th, 7:03pm: “I just enjoyed a late meal at the www.serpentinebarandkitchen… in Hyde park. Try talking a walk across both Hyde and Kensington parks”
How very English of you.
May 14th, 7:16pm: “NB to the Hyde Park – Park Rangers/keepers. A whole bunch of lights are not working along the big roady bit of Hyde park. It’s a bit spooky”
Careful Eddie. You don’t want to get mugged. Plus, since I assume you’re wearing a dress, you probably don’t want to get attacked by the Ripper.
May 14th, 7:19pm: “RT @loosee I’ll be walking from Hyde park around London & back on sat night. Lots of women in just bras. Sounds like your thing, non? – Oui!”
Wow, England has way better parks than us.
May 15th, 10:58am: “Weather still medium poo, traffic not too bad. I would like a helicopter. Maybe in the future we will have one each – like phones. iCopters”
Finally, some material. I can see it now. Black silouhettes flying to and fro to U2 music. I like it.
May 15th, 7:21pm: “Good night everyone. Somewhere is will be sunny tomorrow and they will have personal jet pack too, maybe”
And don’t forget the James Bond theme music.
May 19th, 6:33am: “Went awol for a few days. How is everyone today?”
Yeah, we’re all getting sick of Twitter.
May 20th, 8:06am: “Eddie will be on the political campaign trail ahead of the Euro Elections and has decided to do 2 secret 1hr gigs: http://tinyurl.com/poy7kb”
Come back to America, Eddie! Come back!
May 22nd, 9:00am: “Eddie has added two more secret gigs next week: http://tinyurl.com/phzqx2 – from the Beekeepers”
Dude, more people would probably come to these things if they weren’t secret.
May 25th, 8:00pm: “In Cardiff this afternoon. Good to meet a whole bunch there. I’m off to Lancaster now. Have arranged good weather for tomorrow – hopefully.”
Do a gig in the US. We have sun, jetpacks and plenty of gun-related crime.
May 26th, 8:26pm: “Free Burma’s dignified Nobel peace laureate Aung San Suu Kyi !!! #assk64 http://www.64forSuu.org – please RT” – Sarah Brown”
Don’t ask us. We can’t even free the innocent people in Guantanamo.
May 27th, 2:22pm: “Now in Burnley. Off to munch some food and catch the football”
“the football” is that how they say it in England? But you really mean soccer. Or THE soccer.
May 27th, 3:54pm: “RT Vote hope not hate! http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/h… (via @MariekeH)”
Go Eddie, go! Man, who knew the Brits had their own incredibly polite version of the KKK?
May 27th, 3:58pm: “Barcelona just hit the post on direct free kick. This game feels like England v Spain, but with team players from all over the world”
Don’t riot if you lose, Eddie. We know how you Brits get when you lose a soccer match. I’m sorry, THE soccer match.
May 27th, 4:44pm: “I’m sorry that Man U did not win but congratulations to Barcelona. I would have liked to see one go in for United but there you go”
Always polite. How very English. I’m pretty convinced this is Eddie. He doesn’t feel the need to be “on” 24/7.
May 27th, 7:54pm: “Another fun gig. My first in Burnley. The audience was great and congratulations to Burnley getting into the Premier League. Welcome back”
I’m going to assume that means they got a major league team in the soccer league. And, since I’m from America, I’ll assume they’ll be bulldozing half of Burnley to make way for a two billion dollar stadium.
May 28th, 3:00pm: “Did a Politics gig at Sheffield Uni, my Alma Mater – what does that mean? Before, went for a great run through Sheffield – beautiful weather”
From Wiki: “Alma mater is Latin for “nourishing mother”. (Pron. ‘ælm? ‘me?t?(r) in British English; usu. ‘?lm? ‘ma???r in American English.) It was used in ancient Rome as a title for the mother goddess, and in Medieval Christianity for the Virgin Mary. In modern times it is used to refer to the university or college a person attended. It also can refer to a song about a college or university similar to a fight song.”
May 28th, 9:06pm: “Weather today was sooo good. Beautiful sunshine and now we are set for a bunch of it. Invitation to the rest of the world to visit us now”
Quickly! Before it starts raining again!
May 31st, 8:13pm: “What beautiful weather! A great day yesterday at the anti BNP gig at Stoke City FC and then danced my arse off with everyone at LIQUID”
When you’re done fighting the Fascists over there, can you come by and help us fight them over here?
May 31st, 8:17pm: “Today, back to London and hanging out in Hyde Park. Fantastic sunshine until half nine. Do visit Hyde & Kensington Parks. They’re great”
Well, if women are in their bras at night, they must be naked in the day! Woo hoo!
June 1st, 5:37pm: “RT How about telling us why we should vote (via @ConnorJame) – Vote because our grandparents fought Fascists and many died to keep the vote”
Plus, you don’t want to end up like the England in “Children of Men“.
June 2nd, 7:29am: “Weather is beautiful again in London. How is it where you are? I hear LA is pants at the moment”
“pants”? Is that English for good or bad?
24 hours ago: “I am about to munch food in Bexhill-on-sea at the Trattoria Italiana. Still another 40 minutes of sunshine left. Just heard a seagull”
That’s the signal! Duck Eddie! Duck!
19 hours ago: “@eddieizzard I plead ignorance. What does “LA is pants…” mean? (via @Chiron1) – It means the weather in LA is ‘pants’, which means no good”
I figured. I mean “getting pantsed” is no good. I like that new term. “That shit is pants!”
Okay, now it’s time to rate Eddie. He’s pretty laid back and doesn’t need to try hard, so I give him a 9 for Style. He so laid back though, there’s no urgency in his post, so only a 6 for Mustness. Finally, he’s fighting the BNP, which is nuts because their Fascists and they don’t play around. Let’s give him a 8 for Insanity (go Eddie!). That’s an overall score of 7 point something. Because it’s Eddie, I’m rounding it up to 8. Keep fighting the good fight, bro. And if you have an idea for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
